The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series)
Baby Fat (1965)
Carl Reiner: Alan Brady
Photos
Quotes
-
Alan Brady : Oh, R-Rob, it's hard to tell a... a writer that his stuff isn't funny.
Rob Petrie : You tell me that every week.
Alan Brady : D'oh, but you're a... you're a television writer.
-
Rob Petrie : Yates is a Pulitzer prize-winning playwright.
Alan Brady : Well, he wrote a Pulitzer prize-winning bomb there.
-
[repeated line]
Alan Brady : Shut up, Mel.
-
Alan Brady : You know, Rob, you've got my guts in your hands.
-
Alan Brady : This could make me the toast of Broadway. Don't let me get burnt.
-
Alan Brady : I'm not gonna take off my hair for THIS play.
-
Alan Brady : It's kind of frightening to look at a joke and have it look back at you.
-
Rob Petrie : Mr. Yates has written a play which is not very good.
Alan Brady : Rob, not in front of Mr. Ben.
Rob Petrie : [whispering] The play's weak. What am I whispering in front of a dog for?
Alan Brady : Because he's smart and he bites.
-
Alan Brady : Mel, do I speak a foreign language?
Mel Cooley : No, not...
Alan Brady : Shut up, Mel.
Mel Cooley : Yes sir.
Alan Brady : Can't you understand me? I said I wanted to see Rob. That's Rob. I am Alan, You are Mel. This is a door. Use it.
Mel Cooley : Well, but I...
Alan Brady : Shut up, Mel.
-
Alan Brady : I know what it means and you know what it means, but who's going to tell the audience? What, do we give out pamphlets to explain the jokes?
-
Alan Brady : Why don't you use Mel's office. You'll be more comfortable in there.
Harper Worthington Yates : Thank you.
Alan Brady : Just make yourself at home.
Harper Worthington Yates : Thank you.
Alan Brady : Mel, get out of your office.
Mel Cooley : Well, I've got to finish...
Alan Brady : Shut up, Mel.
Mel Cooley : Yes sir.
-
Alan Brady : Rob, there's a bomb in this office. Right here.
[hands Rob a script]
Rob Petrie : That's a play.
Alan Brady : No. It's a bomb.