The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series)

Pink Pills and Purple Parents (1964)

Dick Van Dyke: Rob Petrie

Photos 

Quotes 

• Rob Petrie : Look, it's just my parents. It's not royalty. All you have to do is, uh, bow gracefully and stable their white horses.

• Laura Petrie : [panicking over an impending, first-time visit from Rob's parents]  What am I gonna serve them?

  Rob Petrie : Oh, that IS a problem. Maybe I can steal a loaf of bread somewhere.

• Rob Petrie : [introducing his mother to Laura]  Mrs. Petrie, meet, uh, Mrs. Petrie. You're both named Mrs. Petrie.

  Rob Petrie : [laughs but then notes his mother's stern expression]  Face it, Mom.

• Sam Petrie : So this is Laura. We finally get to meet her. I just couldn't wait to meet you.

  Clara Petrie : Well, of course, we thought we would meet you at the wedding, but, uh, none of the parents were invited, were they?

  Rob Petrie : Don't... don't start that.

  Clara Petrie : I'm-I'm sorry. It's not the first wedding or the last wedding that I won't be invited to.

• [Laura says she felt a little dizzy] 

  Clara Petrie : Dizzy? Laura, you're not...

  Rob Petrie : Oh, well, no, Mom. Honey, you're, uh... you're not, are you?

  Laura Petrie : No, I'm not!

  Rob Petrie : She's not.

  Sam Petrie : Not what?

  Clara Petrie : Oh, Sam. Grow up.

  Sam Petrie : Oh, THAT'S what she's not.

• Rob Petrie : Laura, what is the MATTER with you?

  Laura Petrie : I'm looking for the spoon.

  Rob Petrie : It's in your hand.

  Laura Petrie : Gee, isn't it funny how it's always the last place you look?

• [Rob prevents Sally from taking one of Buddy's prescription pills] 

  Rob Petrie : Well, what-what could cure pain for one person can do some weird things to somebody else.

  Buddy Sorrell : Yeah? What kind of weird things?

  Sally Rogers : Well, for one, I could look like you.