Dinosaurs (TV Series)

Life in the Faust Lane (1994)

Stuart Pankin: Earl Sinclair

Quotes 

• B.P. Richfield : [about Earl's Fernhill mug]  Who said you could own one of those things?

  Earl : If I'm not mistaken, sir, I believe I am entitled to have possessions.

  B.P. Richfield : I suppose there's no way I could keep you from it. Legally.

• B.P. Richfield : I am the happiest person you'll ever meet you worthless bucket of chum.

  Earl : Well that's obvious from your sunny disposition, sir.

  B.P. Richfield : SHUT UP!

• Earl Sinclair : [Just awakened from a nightmare]  Yeah it's still Thursday night, and I haven't alienated my friends and family for the sake of a ridiculous material possession.

  Fran Sinclair : Uh, no, you haven't.

• Earl Sinclair : Yes, fellas, if you look up happiness in the dictionary, you'll find a bunch of words that describe how I feel.

• Earl Sinclair : Fran, that mug as you call it has made us happier than we've ever been. If you weren't so angry you'd see that.

• Earl : Worth every last dollar. Which, by the way, it took.

• Earl : He's our perpetrator. Lock him up and throw away the key.

  Fran : Earl, this is our child.

  Earl : Okay, you can keep the key.

• Earl : You're Him. You're the guy on the cans of devilled ham.

  The Devil : Not any more, I'm suing those guys for copyright infringement.

• Earl : Roy borrowed my mug?

  Fran Sinclair : Yes, he said he wanted to impress a date.

  Earl : You loaned it to Roy? He's riff raff! Oh, Mr. Richfield was right.

  [Roy enters from behind; Earl doesn't notice] 

  Earl : Now Cap'n Willy's stranded in Roy's crummy little low-rent dump, while Roy and some sleazy cookie slobber over it and paw it with their greasy little fingers!

  Baby Sinclair : Hi, Uncle Roy.

• Salesman : Cap'n Willy, the old salt. A collectable mug from the world famous Fernhill Mint. Now you'd probably expect to pay a lot for a hand crafted work of art like this, and you'd be right. It's absurdly expensive. But can you really afford to live without it?

  Earl Sinclair : No.

  Salesman : Then call now. And please be patient as we check your credit. Only the select few can qualify for ownership of this limited edition master work.

  Earl Sinclair : [Oh phone]  Hello.

  Phone Saleslady : Name?

  Earl Sinclair : Earl Sinclair...

  [click] 

  Earl Sinclair : Hello?

• Roy Hess : Well, I'm leaving, Mr. Former Pally-Boy. Never to return again. Goodbye.

  [Roy leaves] 

  Earl Sinclair : Good riddance!

  [Earl leaves] 

• Hank : Yeah. So what do you say, Mr. S? Worth the money?

  Earl Sinclair : Oh, every last dollar.

  Hank : Uh-huh.

  Earl Sinclair : Which, by the way, you took.

• Fran Sinclair : I wanna know how we're supposed to eat without any money!

  Earl Sinclair : Never fear. We're making money as we speak.

• Robbie Sinclair : These are my schoolbooks.

  Charlene Sinclair : [gasps]  My diary!

  Earl Sinclair : Oh, come on now. We all have to make sacrifices if we want to remain a Fernhill family.

  Fran Sinclair : Ugh, that mug! That awful mug is the root of this whole mess. You're lucky you put in that security system or else I'd walk in there right now and smash it to pieces!

  Earl Sinclair : Fran! that mug, as you call it, has made us happier than we've ever been! If you weren't so angry you'd see that! Fran! Fran!

  Baby Sinclair : Bad mug.