Dinosaurs (TV Series)
Switched at Birth (1991)
Jessica Walter: Fran Sinclair
Quotes
-
Fran Sinclair : Honey, you have to earn his love.
Earl Sinclair : That could take years. I want his love now. Genuine and unconditional. And I'm willing to pay for it.
-
Baby Sinclair : This is great!
[laughs]
Solomon The Great : I am truly moved by your selflessness and love for this child. But too late!
[cuts the baby in half]
Fran : No!
[Aubrey's parents gasp in shock]
Baby Sinclair : Again!
[laughs]
Earl : [Solomon the Great brings their half of a child] Oh!
Solomon The Great : There.
Earl : Oh, don't look at me like that. I'm so, so sorry, little feet. I promise I'll make it up to you. I know we can't play baseball, but I can teach you soccer.
Baby Sinclair : [kicks Earl Sinclair in the face] Not the mama!
[laughs]
-
Fran : The great judge.
Robbie Sinclair : Yeah. He could settle this once and for all.
Gus Molehill : He's the wisest dinosaur of them all.
Aubrey Molehill : Capital idea.
Baby Sinclair : Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
-
Gus Molehill : [Gus Molehill arrives] Hey, how you doing? Gus Molehill. Gotta love me. Gotta love me!
[laughs]
Gus Molehill : Hey, nice digs. Hey. Ooh, what are you doin' for food here?
Fran Sinclair : Earl, I'm still not convinced.
Gus Molehill : Hey, this is my wife Glenda.
Glenda Molehill : Hello. How are you?
Gus Molehill : And this is my boy Aubrey.
[chuckles]
Gus Molehill : So you must be the mama.
Fran Sinclair : Oh! Yes.
Gus Molehill : And I guess that makes you not the mama!
[Earl Sinclair grunts]
Gus Molehill : Not the mama!
[laughs and coughs]
Earl : Fran, he's a cute green kid.
Gus Molehill : Hey. My boy looks just like you, Earl.
-
Fran Sinclair : It's too loud!
[turns off the TV]
Fran Sinclair : And I don't like the values they portray.
Robbie Sinclair : Mom, you're overreacting.
Baby Sinclair : Beer! Cigarettes! Chicks!
Robbie Sinclair : He could've heard that anywhere.
Earl Sinclair : [arrives] Where is he? Where is he? Ah, there's the birthday boy! Tomorrow's the big day! Yay.
Baby Sinclair : [chuckles] Yay! Presents! Presents!
Earl Sinclair : Hey! You betcha! Presents, hats, streamers, the works for your first birthday. Even a pony!
Baby Sinclair : Pony?
Earl Sinclair : That's right! A big, juicy one, grilled to perfection.
-
Solomon The Great : Then, in my divine wisdom, there is only one equitable solution. To divide the child in two.
[thunderclap]
Baby Sinclair , Aubrey Molehill : Huh?
Fran Sinclair : Earl, we can't let him do this!
Solomon The Great : Silence! Do not question the wisdom of Solomon The Great. My powers are beyond the comprehension of mere mortals. And now I shall perform the miracle of divine justice with the help of my assistant Ramona!
[Ramona appears and Baby's parents and Aubrey's parents exclaim]
Earl Sinclair : Oh!
Gus Molehill : Hey! Yes! Good!
[Baby Sinclair exclaims]
Gus Molehill : Hey, nice, nice!
Solomon The Great : Ha!
Earl Sinclair : Nice box.
[applause]
Solomon The Great : Mr. Sinclair, if you would, bring me the pink baby.
Earl Sinclair : Oh, yeah.
[Baby Sinclair laughs and Earl Sinclair brings Solomon The Great the pink baby]
Solomon The Great : Now, place the child completely in the box, head there, feet here.
Earl Sinclair : Head there, feet there. Oh! Oh! Watch your nose.
Solomon The Great : Now, Mr. Sinclair, we've never met before. Is that correct, sir?
Earl Sinclair : Yes, that is correct, sir.
Solomon The Great : And no money has changed hands between us?
Earl Sinclair : None whatsoever.
Solomon The Great : Well, then how do I have your wallet? Ha-ha!
Earl Sinclair : Whoa! Hey! That's wonderful!
Baby Sinclair : Yay! Yay!
Solomon The Great : Mr. Sinclair, as you can see, this is an ordinary box.
Baby Sinclair : Careful! Careful!
Solomon The Great : There are no hidden panels. No secret compartments. Just a simple, wooden box.
Earl Sinclair : Yes, it looks okay to me.
Solomon The Great : You may step back now. Thank you. Now, how about a hand for Mr. Sinclair?
Earl Sinclair : Oh, thank you, thank you.
[applause]
Solomon The Great : And thank you.
-
Fran Sinclair : Earl, he's our baby. A mother knows.
Robbie Sinclair : I don't know. That nest is pretty suspicious.
Charlene : He doesn't really look like us.
Robbie Sinclair : Yeah, he's pink. None of us is pink. Isn't that kind of weird?
Charlene : Very.
-
Baby Sinclair : [Gus Molehill and Fran Sinclair grunt] Ah! Make a wish.
Fran Sinclair : Earl, help me!
Earl Sinclair : With you in a minute!
Glenda Molehill : Let go of my boy!
Aubrey Molehill : My arms have a tendency to dislocate!
-
Fran Sinclair : Nobody is switching babies until I see some absolute proof!
-
Fran Sinclair : [arrives] Hi, I'm back from the market. I got nearly everything on Aubrey's list except the low-sodium goat cheese and the sugar-free tofu teething cookies.
[Earl sighs]
Aubrey Molehill : Perhaps you could pop out after supper and check other stores. By the way, did you manage to change the linens in my crib? They were left in quite a state by your previous child.
Fran Sinclair : My previous child?
[cries]
Fran Sinclair : Oh. Oh, no.
Earl Sinclair : Oh. Come on, Franny. Our real son is celebrating his first birthday.
Fran Sinclair : My baby is one year old, and I'm not there?
[wails]
Fran Sinclair : I just want to crawl into the woods and die!
Earl Sinclair : Cake time! Charlene, your mother wants some cake. Fran, hey! No wonder you're feeling down. You don't have a party hat.
Fran Sinclair : Oh, my baby has been taken from me!
[cries]
Earl Sinclair : Oh, cake, cake, cake, cake, cake! That's it, come on. Quick.
Charlene : Here you go, Mom.
[Earl chuckles nervously]
Fran Sinclair : I want the knife. Give me the knife!
Charlene : What?
Earl Sinclair : No cake. No cake. No cake.
Charlene : Hey, hey. Hey! What's the matter with Mom?
Earl Sinclair : Well, she's overwhelmed with happiness.
[Fran cries and Earl sighs and smacks his teeth]
Robbie Sinclair : Well, I got the tissues.
Earl Sinclair : Give... .
Robbie Sinclair : Huh?
Earl Sinclair : No. Come on, sweetie. Now, cheer up. We're celebrating a new addition to our family.
[Fran blows her nose]
Earl Sinclair : Everyone else is happy.
Robbie Sinclair : I'm not.
Charlene : Me, either. The kid's a real zero. Oh, no offense.
Aubrey Molehill : None taken. Fortunately, I'm very well-adjusted.