Doctor Who (TV Series)

The End of the World (2005)

Simon Paisley Day: Steward

Quotes 

• Rose Tyler : Is that why we're here? - I mean, is that what you do? Jump in at the last minute and save the Earth?

  The Doctor : I'm not saving it. Time's up.

  Rose Tyler : But what about the people?

  The Doctor : It's empty. They've all gone. No one left.

  Rose Tyler : [silent; looks at the Earth]  Just me then.

  The Steward : Who the hell are you?

• The Steward : Who the hell are you?

  The Doctor : Oh, that's nice. Thanks!

  The Steward : But how did you get in?

  [sounds affronted] 

  The Steward : This is a maximum hospitality zone. The guests have disembarked.

  [the Doctor reaches into his pocket] 

  The Steward : They're on their way. Any second now...

  The Doctor : It's all right, that's me. I'm a guest. Look.

  [opening his wallet] 

  The Doctor : I've got an invitation. Look.

  [shows the Steward slip of paper inside] 

  The Doctor : There, you see? It's fine. You see?

  [points to paper] 

  The Doctor : "The Doctor plus one." I'm the Doctor, this is Rose Tyler. She's my "plus one". Is that all right?

  The Steward : Well... obviously.

  [humbly] 

  The Steward : Apologies, et cetera. If you're on board, we'd better start. Enjoy.

  [walks to his podium] 

  The Doctor : [waits till Steward is out of range; shows Rose the blank piece of paper in his wallet]  The paper's slightly psychic. It shows them whatever I want them to see. Saves a lot of time.

• The Steward : And last but not least, our very special guest... Ladies and gentlemen and trees and multiforms, consider the Earth below. In memory of this dying world, we call forth... the last human...

  [Rose goes to step forward but the doors open and a piece of skin stretched on a frame, accompanied by two attendants, comes in] 

  The Steward : The Lady Cassandra O'Brien dot Delta 17.

  Cassandra : Oh now, don't stare. I know. I know. It's shocking, isn't it? I've had my chin completely taken away. And look at the difference! Look how thin I am. Thin and dainty. I don't look a day over two thousand.

  [to one of her attendants] 

  Cassandra : Moisturise me, moisturise me.

  [the attendant sprays her] 

  Cassandra : Truly, I am the last human. My father was a Texan, my mother was from the Arctic desert. They were born on the Earth and they were the last to be buried in its soil. I have come to honour them and say goodbye.

• The Steward : Well, what was it? I'm just getting green lights at this end!

• The Steward : [over the intercom]  Would the owner of the blue box in private gallery 15 please report to the Steward's office immediately.