Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist (TV Series)

Anniversary (1998)

Jonathan Katz: Dr. Katz

Quotes 

• Dom Irrera : I was sittin' home, watchin' Dan Rather on the CBS Evening News, and I was playin' with my balls.

  Dr. Katz : Yeah.

  Dom Irrera : That don't make me gay, right?

  Dr. Katz : Not at all.

  Dom Irrera : I start twistin' and yankin' on 'em like a big ape, and I was curious to see how many twists I could get without actually snapping a whole ball sack off.

  Dr. Katz : Wait, let me guess.

  Dom Irrera : I got four and an eighth, and my body starts turning the other way, that's about it, y'know?

• Dom Irrera : See, I just found out today that you're a "doctor" doctor. Could you get me something to help me with my anxiety, or...?

  Dr. Katz : Absolutely, I can write you a script for an anti-anxiety medication, a low dosage, with no refills.

  Dom Irrera : Huh. Seems like it comes with all the perks. Could you give me anything to help me with, you know, my heartbeat? To raise it to a point of, like, a rabbit's?

  Dr. Katz : ...You'd like your heart to beat like a rabbit?

  Dom Irrera : I'd like to lose some weight, doc.

  Dr. Katz : Yeah, but that's not the way to do it: Take a pill that speeds up your heart.

  Dom Irrera : Do I look like I'm gonna have a heart attack now?

  Dr. Katz : No, you don't.

  Dom Irrera : 'Cause I feel like I might, not right now, but towards the end of the session.

  Dr. Katz : Okay, well, just let me know.