- Mrs. Hayfer: Since you're talking, please tell the class what is your favorite novel from the 20th century?
- Drake Parker: Uh... Catcher in the Rye.
- Mrs. Hayfer: Wrong.
- Drake Parker: Well, but you asked me...
- Mrs. Hayfer: Wrong!
- Drake Parker: But... what... what...
- Mrs. Hayfer: Was I talking to you?
- Drake Parker: Kinda.
- Josh Nichols: [talking about how Drake needs to break up with his girlfriend] W-well, she likes you, right? So all you gotta do is act un-YOUish.
- Drake Parker: I'm not Jewish.
- Josh Nichols: No. Un-DRAKEish.
- [Drake tries to disgust Kelly]
- Drake Parker: [burps] Oh! I am so sorry.
- Kelly Hayfer: You should be. That was weak. Check this out!
- [belches even louder]
- Mrs. Hayfer: Drake, I'm not going to mince words with you. You don't know what mince means, do you?
- Drake Parker: Like... breath mints?
- Mrs. Hayfer: You break her heart, you're going to summer school.
- Drake Parker: Summer school?
- Mrs. Hayfer: That's right. Summer school. Two words even you understand.
- Mrs. Hayfer: All right, class, let's begin. The Iliad and The Odyssey were originally written in what language? Drake.
- Drake Parker: Uh, Greek.
- Mrs. Hayfer: Wrong. Todd.
- Todd: Greek?
- Mrs. Hayfer: Correct.
- Josh Nichols: This is the luckiest shirt in the world. It got me a date with a teen model who loves magic and video games. That is the ultimate in female. Lucky shirt, you're my polyester angel.
- Mrs. Hayfer: Here's your essay, Drake.
- Drake Parker: A D minus? What's wrong with it?
- Mrs. Hayfer: I don't know. Just write another one.