Duckman: Private Dick/Family Man (TV Series)

I, Duckman (1994)

Gregg Berger: Cornfed Pig, Wolfgang's Assistant

Quotes 

• Cornfed Pig : It's the dream again, Duckman. You're letting it win. I know. I used to have a recurring dream. I'd dream I fell and hit my head on a fishbowl. Hurt myself just bad enough to work graveyard shift at a convenience store. A group of Hare Krishnas always came in at 4 AM and bought sixteen gallons of Mr. Slushie, and a package of banana flavored Ding Dongs. Then, the Swedish bikini team jumped out of a magazine and read Moby Dick to me inside a giant carton of cottage cheese. "Why?" I'd ask myself. What could it mean? Am I mad? Or is the world simply a mystery too complex to understand?

• Cornfed Pig : Things sure have changed over the years.

  Eric Duckman : [tearing up]  I miss her. You know, tomorrow would have been our wedding anniversary. I forgot. I guess I blocked it out.

  [He wipes a tear away] 

  Eric Duckman : It's the first one I've had to spend without her.

  Cornfed Pig : That may explain the way you've been feeling lately.