The Dukes of Hazzard (TV Series)

Mrs. Rosco P. Coltrane (1980)

Tori Lysdahl: Sue Ann McGraw

Quotes 

• Sue Ann McGraw : [as Rosco enters his office to meet his pen pal]  Well... ain't you the handsomest hunk of man in that there uniform you're wearing?

  [gushes] 

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : Sue Ann? What the heck are you doing here in Hazzard County?

  Sue Ann McGraw : Rosco P. Coltrane! Is that all you got to say to a lady friend after I come all the way from Handlyville?

  [baby-talks:] 

  Sue Ann McGraw : Or did you forget all that sweet talk you gave me over the past three weeks

  [wags a finger at him] 

  Sue Ann McGraw : since we met through that computer dating service?

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : Oh, no, no, I didn't forget anything. It's just that, you see, I was sort of surprised to see you here. Uh... did anybody else see you come in here besides Cletus?

  Sue Ann McGraw : Why? Am I supposed to be some sort of deep, dark secret?

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : Uh-uh, no. No, no. It's just that, I hadn't got round to telling anybody, you see.

  Sue Ann McGraw : Or did you just figure you could toy with a lady's affections, and then wave bye-bye like I was just nothing?

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : No, no! No, Sue Ann. Everything I told you was the honest truth. No, I wouldn't lie to you, you little... ooh ooh ooh ooh... I don't lie to pretty...

  Sue Ann McGraw : Did you really... Oh...

  [her arms go around his neck] 

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : Mmm.

  Sue Ann McGraw : Oh, honey... you got me all saucered and spooned.

  [giggles] 

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : You just gave me a vapor lock, too.

  Sue Ann McGraw : [chuckles]  Now, how about the wedding?

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : A wedding. Wedding?

  Sue Ann McGraw : I was right. You did just take advantage of me.

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : No.

  Sue Ann McGraw : All them times the past few weekends you just took me for chop suey...

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : Yeah, we... yeah...

  Sue Ann McGraw : ...sharing our fortune cookies...

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : Yeah, we did share...

  Sue Ann McGraw : ...rowing on the lake...

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : Yeah, I told everybody I'd gone fishing, coo-coo-coo!

  Sue Ann McGraw : You caught me and now you're ready to throw me back in the pond.

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : Oh, no...!

  Sue Ann McGraw : Okay, I'll go.

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : Uh, no, no. No, no, Sue Ann...

  [tries to stop her from leaving] 

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : Nobody said anything about you... going.

  Sue Ann McGraw : Nobody said nothing about us getting married, neither.

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : What, what... .?

  Sue Ann McGraw : Now, unless you do...

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : But what? I... I... You didn't give me a chance.

  Sue Ann McGraw : Oh, Rosco...!

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : Ooh...

  [they kiss] 

  Sue Ann McGraw : When?

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : When? When...? Uh, well, it's, it's gonna take a little bit of time. You see?

  [counts off on his fingers:] 

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : Now, I got to tell my little fat buddy, uh, Boss Hogg, and then I've got to tell Flash, that's my dog... and... and then I gotta tell Mama, and after she has her coronary, I would say about six months.

  [Sue Ann grabs her suitcase] 

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : Oh, no! Three months!

  Sue Ann McGraw : Rosco?

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : Two?

  Sue Ann McGraw : Pervis?

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : One?

  Sue Ann McGraw : Coltrane?

  Sheriff Rosco Coltrane : When would you like it?