Entourage (TV Series)

Date Night (2004)

Jerry Ferrara: Turtle

Photos 

Quotes 

• Eric Murphy : Did you even get a date yet, Turtle?

  Turtle : Course I got a date. We have to pick her up from the Burbank Airport in one hour.

  Eric Murphy : What is she? A Russian mail order bride?

• Turtle : It'll be like Prom.

  Eric Murphy : So I guess you won't have a date then?

  Turtle : I told you ten thousand fucking times, she had food poisoning.

• Eric Murphy : Name one girl you ever pulled off the internet.

  Turtle : There's all sorts of confidentiality agreements with these sites. I ain't telling you shit!

• Johnny 'Drama' Chase : [re his muscular girlfriend Tanya]  She gave me the ride of my life. I just hung on to those lats, surrendered all control.

  Turtle : You know, if I was holdin' onto those lats, I'd think I was fuckin' Evander Holyfield!

• Turtle : [about Drama's muscular girlfriend]  Where'd you meet her, Drama? Barry Bond's hearing?

• Turtle : [about Drama]  He's fucking a guy,

  [about Eric] 

  Turtle : your getting asked out like a little bitch, I'd say its a very big deal.

• Vincent Chase : [about Drama, after he is late to cook breakfast]  He got a girl.

  Eric Murphy : Really, who?

  Turtle : I don't know, he must have ordered in late night. Woke me up at like 4:30. Sounded like a couple of baboons fuckin'.

• Turtle : [opening up an envelope of fanmail]  Aww, picture request. Nice enough to send the money for the stamp.

  [pockets the money as both Vince and Eric look at him askew] 

  Turtle : Relax, I'll send the picture.

• Joanne : So, Justine, if you lose your virginity, doesn't the whole Pure Tour thing become, like, a sham?

  Justine Chapin : Who said I'm gonna lose my virginity?

  Joanne : Well, Turtle here said that these guys don't even believe you are a virgin.

  Turtle : [eyes on him]  I never said that!

  Eric Murphy : [clears throat]  Check, please!

• Vincent Chase : [to Eric, re his cool girlfriend Emily]  You see, E, that's why I like this girl. Nice, positive attitude.

  Justine Chapin : What about my attitude?

  Vincent Chase : You? Come on, you have the best attitude.

  Joanne : [envious of Justine, rises in disgust]  Slut!

  Turtle : Joanne, wait, wait, wait! Vince is my best friend, I love that guy like a brother. But if he doesn't see how special you are...

  Joanne : Nice try, Tortoise.

  [scans the crowd for another celeb beau] 

  Joanne : Is that Jason Bateman?

  [zeros in on new target] 

  Turtle : What? Oh, get the fuck out of here.

  [takes swig from bottle]