Everybody Loves Raymond (TV Series)

Six Feet Under (1998)

Ray Romano: Ray Barone

Photos 

Quotes 

• Debra Barone : You're a writer, don't you want to write the Great American Novel?

  Ray Barone : I thought about that. But then I realized that I didn't even want to read the Great American Novel.

• Ray Barone : Listen up, everybody. I've got an announcement to make. I suck and I quit.

  Gianni : You only blew the game-winning shot, what's the big deaI?

  Kevin : Yeah, there'll be other game-winning shots. Hopefully, you won't take them.

  Ray Barone : Look, isn't it obvious? I'm too short to play this game.

  Gianni : What?

  Ray Barone : I measured myself yesterday, and I'm a quarter-inch shorter than last year.

  Kevin : Ray, you could shrink a foot and still not be the shortest guy on the team.

  [Kevin rests his hand on Andy's shoulder, indicating his short stature] 

  Andy : You could lose a leg and still not be the slowest.

  [Andy rubs Kevin's stomach in response] 

  Ray Barone : Don't you see? I'm going to keep shrinking.

  Gianni : Relax, Ray, you weren't that good to begin with.

• Robert Barone : Raymond. Sounds like you're having a little mid-life crisis.

  Ray Barone : What? No, God. Mid-life crisis. I don't want one of those.

  Kevin : I do. I can't wait for mine. I'm going to get a Harley and a girI who's impressed by Harleys.

  Ray Barone : Debra won't let me have either of those.

• Frank Barone : You know what I always wanted to do, Ray? Sing like Tony Bennett.

  Ray Barone : Tony Bennett?

  Frank Barone : That's right. But look at me. Am I Tony Bennett?

  Ray Barone : No.

  Frank Barone : You see, you do a thing, and that's what you are. One guy lives in Brooklyn. One guy lives in Sutton Place. Another guy's a lawyer, one guy is a doctor. Another guy dies, another guy gets well, people are born.

  Ray Barone : What the hell are you talking about?

  Frank Barone : Don't worry so much. You die. You did what you did.

  Marie Barone : Stop saying die. It's obvious Raymond's afraid of dying.

  Frank Barone : What am I supposed to tell him? That it's not going to happen? It's going to happen.

  [to Ray, excitedly but very serious] 

  Frank Barone : You're going to die!

• Ray Barone : I'm six feet tall. People ask me how I am. I'm six feet tall. That's how I am.

• Ray Barone : Guys care about height, you know? Just like women care about weight.

  Debra Barone : I don't care about weight.

  Ray Barone : Yeah, you don't 'cause you only weigh about, what, 140?

  [Debra glares at Ray, threateningly] 

  Ray Barone : See? Don't get on your high horse if you can't take the smell.