Lisa Whelchel: Blair Warner

Quotes 

• [Blair enters the banquet room and is surprised to find that only Mr. Bradley and Miss Mahoney are present] 

  Blair Warner : Where's my mother? Did she leave?

  [Blair's mother, Nancy, Molly, Cindy, Natalie and Tootie enter the banquet room from the kitchen] 

  Monica Warner : Oh, Blair, you look beautiful.

  Blair Warner : Is that you mother? In an apron?

  Monica Warner : Well, I thought it was about time that I started acting a little more like you than you like me.

• Blair Warner : Meet my gorgeous mother.

  Nancy Olson : You're the most beautiful woman I ever met.

  Monica Warner : Oh, thank you, dear.

  [chuckles] 

  Sue Ann Weaver : What do you have to do to look the way you do?

  Monica Warner : Well, I get plenty of sleep, I exercise, and I drink plenty of milk.

  Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey : Wow, if I could look like that, I'd drink a cow.

  Nancy Olson : Come on, guys, we gotta get back to work.

  Edna Garrett : On the double, on the double.

  Sue Ann Weaver : [still thinking Blair's mom]  Wow, what a figure.

  Cindy Webster : Yeah, wouldn't you just love to have a pair of legs like that.

  Natalie Green : I'd settle for just one.

• Edna Garrett : Okay, so we both know your mother's slightly flirtatious.

  Blair Warner : That's like saying the Eiffel Tower's slightly tall.

• Blair Warner : My mother's made a date with her latest conquest, Justin Branch. He's a married man! I never want to hear 'like mother, like daughter' again.

  Edna Garrett : Oh, but Blair, your mother and Mr. Branch are old friends. They're having an innocent reunion.

  Blair Warner : I've lost three fathers because of 'innocent' little reunions like this. I wonder how many husbands I'll go through.

• Monica Warner : [huge parcel]  I brought you a little surprise, dear. It's your first Christian Dior.

  Blair Warner : Oh, mother, thank you!

  Monica Warner : Let's pull it out and see what it looks like.

  Blair Warner : There's a full-length mirror in here.

  [they go off next door] 

• Edna Garrett : You know, Blair, I had to learn that loving someone doesn't mean loving the parts you like. Loving means accepting the whole package, warts and all.

  Blair Warner : If my mother ever had a wart, she'd sue Elizabeth Arden.

• Nancy Olson : You're crazy. You're giving us this dress? But your mother gave it to you.

  Blair Warner : I don't want it anymore. There's a curse attached to it.

  Sue Ann Weaver : [grabs dress]  Oh, I'll take it. I'm not superstitious.

  Nancy Olson : [grabs it back]  This dress must have cost a hundred dollars.

  Blair Warner : The buttons cost that much.

  Nancy Olson : Oh, boy, if it's that expensive, I'd be too embarrassed to take it.

  Sue Ann Weaver : [grabs dress again]  Oh, I'm never embarrassed.

  Nancy Olson : Neither of us should have it. Give it back to Blair.

  [grabs dress, gives it to Blair, but Blair tosses it into wastepaper bin]