Nancy McKeon: Jo Polniaczek

Quotes 

• Tootie Ramsey : Muffy? Her name is Muffy? What kinda person is named Muffy?

  Jo Polniaczek : Beats me, Tootie!

• Jo Polniaczek : Well, that's the thing with Blair. At first she seems kind of shallow, but once you get to know her you realize that's really the deep part.

• [first lines] 

  Beverly Ann Stickle : [in front of computer]  I don't know. I don't think I'll ever get the hang of this thing.

  Andy Moffett : Nonsense! Anyone can learn how to use a computer.

  Jo Polniaczek : Good luck! We've been trying to teach her for a week!

• Blair Warner : [enters, carrying huge box, announces:]  This is it. The end of an era.

  Natalie Green : You're throwing out your makeup?

  Blair Warner : No. I'm throwing out my files.

  Jo Polniaczek : I don't believe it.

  Beverly Ann Stickle : What files?

  Tootie Ramsey : Blair gathers information about every guy at Langley, and then she rates them.

  Jo Polniaczek : Kinda like hamburger meat. Prime, choice, dogfood.

  [to Blair:] 

  Jo Polniaczek : But why are you throwing out your files? I thought they worked for you.

  Blair Warner : It's getting ridiculous. Every time a guy would call and ask me out for a date, I have to rummage through all these files and see if he was worth a 'yes' or a 'no'. I finally said to myself: "Princess..."

  [grins] 

  Blair Warner : That's what I call myself. I said: "Princess, this is primitive." From now on, I'm on a computer. They're faster, and I can exchange information with women all over the world.

  Jo Polniaczek : Other women rate men the way you do?

  Blair Warner : [chuckles]  Of course not as accurately. I prefer to go to three decimal places. But I can use a standard one-through-ten in a pinch.

  Natalie Green : [to Tootie:]  I like that. A woman who's flexible in her shallowness.

  Beverly Ann Stickle : This sounds awfully complicated. Of course, when I was dating, they only had Roman numerals.

  Blair Warner : [chuckles]  Actually, it's quite simple. I just look at their height, weight, and the car they drive. Financial status, family background...

  Beverly Ann Stickle : That's more than I knew about my husband when I divorced him.

• Tootie Ramsey : Blair, how would you like it if guys rated you?

  Blair Warner : That would be wonderful.

  Tootie Ramsey : But it's so dehumanizing.

  Blair Warner : Not if you're a Ten.

  Jo Polniaczek : If you're a Ten, I'd hate to see a One.

  Blair Warner : Then avoid mirrors.

  [Jo scowls] 

  Beverly Ann Stickle : That's what I like about college. There's always a stimulating difference of opinion.

• Jo Polniaczek : Why are you finding this so difficult?

  Blair Warner : Look. Here is this guy. He has a date with me. And immediately, he brags to everyone he knows. I cancel, he's despondent, he commits suicide. And I'm on the hook for involuntary manslaughter. Do you know what happens to girls like me in prison?

  Jo Polniaczek : I can't believe I'm having this conversation.