- Quentin Morloch: In the office there are two sign-up lists. One is labelled 'All Student Review', the other is labeled 'Science Fair Project'. Now the first is quite full. Quite full. Names on the front, names on the back, names in the margin. Someone even signed me up. Thank you, no. On the Science Fair project however, there is one lone signature: Albert Einstein.
- Mrs. Berg: I'm thinking about a vacation in France. How much do you think that would cost?
- Benjamin Shorofsky: Absolutely nothing, I think of it all the time.
- Elizabeth Sherwood: Mrs. Berg, let me explain something to you...
- Mrs. Berg: If this is good news, I'm Brooke Shields.
- Christopher Donlon: [talking about an old 'friend' of his] When he threw the baseball, I swear he could hit a quarter at seventy yards and get you twenty cents change.
- Sandy Bailey: Why don't we do the Science project, and then instead of building some model out of styrophome, and tube, old batteries, why don't we use dance and music to demonstrate some sort of scientific principle?
- Quentin Morloch: Well I'll tell you, Mr. Bailey, That sounds... ridiculous. But I suppose It's the best deal I'm gonna get in this tutu-factory, so you're on.
- Doris Schwartz: Mr. Morloch, the Schwartz's have a history of thousands of years of getting their daughters to marry doctors and their sons to date girls named Naomi. We have our methods.
- Miss Sherwood: Mrs. Berg? What happened?
- Mrs. Berg: It's my... well, it was my aunt.
- Miss Sherwood: W-what is it, what's wrong?
- Mrs. Berg: It seems she's gone over to the other side.
- Miss Sherwood: She defected?
- Mrs. Berg: Oh, heavens, no. Although I suppose that's one way of looking at it.