- Lydia Grant: I thought you said you didn't want to direct the show?
- Michael: I said I didn't want to. I didn't say that I wasn't capable.
- Lydia Grant: Oh, then you do think you can handle it?
- Michael: Oh, no problem, I can handle it.
- Lydia Grant: Oh, good. Then you got it baby, the job is yours.
- [pulls a cassette out of it's player]
- Michael: But wait, I'm...
- Lydia Grant: No Michael, look, I have my hands full without trying to direct this extravaganza.
- [puts the cassette in his hand]
- Lydia Grant: Merry Christmas, happy birthday, the job is yours. Have a good time.
- Alicia Morgan: Dwight... I'm just having a terrible time fitting in around this place.
- Dwight Mendenhall: And you came to me for help?
- [she nods]
- Dwight Mendenhall: I'm double honored.
- Quentin Morloch: Donlon, why did you come see me?
- Christopher Donlon: Well, maybe it's because you remind me of how my dad used to be.
- Quentin Morloch: Hows that?
- Christopher Donlon: Hard nosed. Fair. Stubborn, honest. Basically a pain in the butt.
- [turns to the exit]
- Quentin Morloch: Donlon, don't hit yourself with the door on the way out.
- [Donlon laughs]
- Christopher Donlon: Sorry I'm late.
- Michael: Oh, you're not late.
- Christopher Donlon: I'm not early.
- Michael: You're not early, or late. You're just fired.
- Christopher Donlon: What do you mean, I'm fired?
- Michael: I mean I still like you enough to spare you the lectures. I'll just give it to you straight: You're out of the show.
- Michael: Me and the director are just like this, man. He loves it when I show up on time, every time.
- Christopher Donlon: That's just 'cause it's your show.