Family Guy (TV Series)

A Picture Is Worth 1,000 Bucks (2000)

Seth MacFarlane: Peter Griffin, Brian Griffin, Stewie Griffin, Glenn Quagmire, Antonio Monatti, Stephen King, Carney, Neptune, Satan, Artist, Bing Crosby, David Leisure, Art Museum Manager, Doorman, Walt Disney, Big Bird, Bird #1

Photos 

Quotes 

• Peter Griffin : Wait a minute! I don't see any strippers handing out free tacos. Lois, you lied to me!

• Peter Griffin : I have no son! Except for Stewie... and Meg!

• [Peter and Meg are sitting on a bench in Central Park by the ice rink. Meg does a bird call and a pigeon flies over] 

  [Meanwhile, Brian skates by and executes a perfect triple axel] 

  Peter Griffin : Wow, that's amazing!

  Brian Griffin : Oh, thanks. I roomed with Scott Hamilton in prep school. Nothing happened.

• Minnie Mouse : [In a cutaway, Walt Disney draws Minnie]  Do I, do-do I have to?

  [crying] 

  Walt Disney : You wanna be a star, don't you? Then take it off!

  [Minnie takes her dress off while sobbing] 

  Walt Disney : Yeah, that's nice.

• Meg Griffin : Oh. Oh, this is just my bird calls.

  Peter Griffin : Do it again! Do it again!

  [Meg whistles, Big Bird's footsteps approached] 

  Big Bird : Yeah? Well, what'd you want?

  Meg Griffin : Uh...

  Big Bird : You called me, right?

  Meg Griffin : Oh, no, no I wasn't calling you.

  [laughs nervously] 

  Big Bird : Oh, oh, this is funny to you? Y-yeah? Y-you know what pain in the ass is to get across town this time a day, huh?

  Peter Griffin : Listen, uh, but mister we don't want any trouble here.

  Big Bird : I don't fly you know. I take the subway like everybody else. Oh and people don't stare. You made me puke,

  [spits] 

  Big Bird : bitch.

• Peter Griffin : Now, wait just a minute, young lady. Don't you walk away from me. Hey! Hey! Don't you start runnin'! Wait! Meg! Meg, get off that bus. Don't... don't you go to LaGuardia! Meg? Meg, listen to me. Don't you dare get on that plane. Don't you shell out five bucks for headphones for Magnolia. Okay, now I'm pissed.

• Chris Griffin : Mr. Monatti, shouldn't I be painting now?

  Antonio Monatti : Oh trust me, painting is the least important thing about being a successful artist.

• Lois Griffin : I feel like we've been walking in circles.

  Meg Griffin : I don't know how you can find anything in this city. It's so confusing.

  Peter Griffin : Well, I bet if Hilary Clinton becomes senator, she'll straighten it out. Although she could never straighten out Bill.