Family Guy (TV Series)

Brian in Love (2000)

Seth MacFarlane: Peter Griffin, Brian Griffin, Stewie Griffin, Glenn Quagmire, Tom Tucker, Jake Tucker, Angus Griffin, George Jetson, Elroy Jetson, Charles Lindbergh, Bob Baker, Librarian, Hitman, Parachute Jumper, Drunken Clam Customer

Photos 

Quotes 

• Peter Griffin : Lois, isn't Stewie a little young to be potty trained? You remember what happened to the Lindberg baby.

  [Cut to Lindberg bathroom. Charles Jr. is sitting on the toilet] 

  Anne Morrow Lindbergh : Charles, do you know what you're doing?

  Charles Lindberg : Honey, will you relax? I flew across the Atlantic, I'm a national treasure, for God's sake. I think I can handle...

  [Charles Jr. flushes himself down the toilet] 

  Charles Lindberg : Oh God! Oh God!

  [Calmly] 

  Charles Lindberg : Okay... He was kidnapped. You call the police, I'll write the ransom note.

  Anne Morrow Lindbergh : [Pointing to Amelia Earhardt]  What about Amelia? She saw everything.

  Charles Lindberg : You leave her to me.

• Lois Griffin : Hey, you, the news is on.

  Brian Griffin : Oh. Where's everybody?

  Lois Griffin : Stewie's taking a nap, and Peter and the kids are out. Come sit with me.

  Brian Griffin : Oh. Okay.

  [Gets up on couch] 

  Brian Griffin : [while Lois rubs his skull]  Oh. Ho,ho,ho,ho.

  Diane Simmons : And now, Part 3 of Asian correspondent Tricia Takanawa's special report on sex.

  Tricia Takanawa : Thank you, Diane. Sex... some people have it anonymously. "What kind of person might do that?" You might ask. Well, I'm about to find out. I just picked a complete stranger in a hotel bar, and he's in the bathroom, possibly doing drugs. Watch as I have sex with this potentially dangerous man, as we take you in depth and undercover.

  Glen Quagmire : I never had a Spanish chick before. Ole!

  Lois Griffin : Oh, it is so refreshing to see something other than violence on the news.

  [thumping] 

  Lois Griffin : Brian, your tail keeps hitting me.

  [thumping stops] 

  Brian Griffin : Oh, it was bothering you, I can stop.

  Lois Griffin : No, it's okay. That breeze feels good. It's so warm in here.

  [takes sweater off, then sighs] 

  Lois Griffin : That's better.

  Brian Griffin : I-I'd take my sweater off but I'm afraid it's attached to my skin.

  [laughs] 

  Brian Griffin : Smooth.

  Lois Griffin : Well, I better go start dinner.

• Lois Griffin : It's just my noodle kaboodle. I did use a different brand of potato chips for the crust, though.

  Brian Griffin : Your culinary prowess is surpassed only by your unfailing grace and the uncommon, sometimes haunting glow of sensuality that surrounds you

  Lois Griffin : Its just noodle kaboodle.

  Peter Griffin : Hey, what are these hard things?

  Lois Griffin : M & M's. I ran out of paprika.

• Stewie Griffin : Up! Stewie wants to go uppie! Mmm, mama's skin's so soft...

  Lois Griffin : Oh, aren't you affectionate tonight. Well,let me give you a kiss...

  Stewie Griffin : Another! Another! Mama has candy kisses!

  Brian Griffin : All right, that's enough!

  [laves the table in disgust] 

  Lois Griffin : Stewie... did you unhook mommy's bra?

• Brian Griffin : I'm really enjoying playing golf.

  Peter Griffin : You know my great-great-grandfather Angus Griffin invented the game.

  [flashback] 

  Angus Griffin : So, we're all clear on the rules then. No Jews and no blacks.

  Scotsmen : Aye.

• Diane Simmons : And now part three of Asian correspondent Tricia Takanawa's special report on sex.

  Tricia Takanawa : Thank you Diane.Sex. Some people have it anonymously. "What kind of person would do that?" you might ask. Well, I'm about to find out. I just picked up a complete stranger in a hotel bar and he's in the bathroom right now. Possibly doing drugs.Watch as I have sex with this potentially dangerous man, as we take you in depth and undercover .

  Glen Quagmire : I've never had a Spanish chick before. Ole'!

  Lois Griffin : Oh. It's so refreshing to see something other than violence on the news.

• Meg Griffin : Then, Brittany and Amber said, "Let's go to the mall." And I said, "OK, I'll go to the mall." Then Amber wasn't gonna go, so I went to the mall. And you're not gonna believe it, they both showed up!

  Peter Griffin : Hold on, Meg. I'm sorry but that is a really boring story.