Family Guy (TV Series)
I Am Peter, Hear Me Roar (2000)
Alex Borstein: Lois Griffin, Julie, Aunt Lil
Photos
Quotes
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Lois Griffin : Glen, I need your help.
Glen Quagmire : Sure, Lois. I'd do everything to you.
Lois Griffin : What?
Glen Quagmire : I'd do anything for you.
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Lois Griffin : Excuse me?
Gloria Ironbox : I can't imagine how screwed up your kids must be.
Lois Griffin : You... bitch!
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Lois Griffin : Peter, one of these days I'm gonna need to use the mirror.
Peter Griffin : Oh beans, I can't get this spit curl to... Wait a minute. Lois, what day is it?
Lois Griffin : Thursday.
Peter Griffin : Oh, God. Oh God, I am late!
Lois Griffin : Well, if you spent less time fixing your hair...
Peter Griffin : No, I mean I am 'late' late! Do we still have that pregnancy test?
Lois Griffin : Are you insane? You can't have a baby!
Peter Griffin : Well, I don't have a lot of options, I'm Catholic! God, I thought you would be happy for me!
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Lois Griffin : Oh, I hate these high-pressure sales situations.
Peter Griffin : Oh, that's so cute! You're just afraid that because you're a woman you're gonna do something stupid, like buy that time-share or not realize that your husband taped over our wedding video with soft-core cable porn.
Lois Griffin : You taped over our wedding video?
Peter Griffin : Just the boring stuff.
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Peter Griffin : [slurring, drunk] This comedian sucks. He couldn't make me laugh even if I was laughin' my ass off and he was the one makin' me do it. Come on, skinny, make me laugh!
Lois Griffin : Peter, that's a microphone stand.
Peter Griffin : Oh, well, excuse me for thinkin' that a microphone stand in a comedy club should tell a joke or two. I guess I'm just old-fashioned that way.
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Stewie Griffin : Mother, I come bearing a gift. I'll give you a hint: it's in my diaper and it's not a toaster.
Lois Griffin : Meg, can you change Stewie?
Meg Griffin : Fine, but this time if a boy calls, please don't tell him I'm wrist deep in poopy.
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Joe Swanson : Hey neighbors! Where's your boat?
Lois Griffin : We didn't take the boat. We took the mystery box. Hop in!
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Lois Griffin : Oh, no! Life outside my kitchen is so bright and scary. I'm just here because you caught me between pregnancies.
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Gloria Ironbox : I'm sorry you're so hostile toward someone who's fighting so a woman like you can become more than just a housewife.
Lois Griffin : Oh, just a housewife. Look, I'm all for equality, but if you ask me, feminism is about choice. And I choose to be a wife and mother. And now, I'm choosing to end this conversation.
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Peter Griffin : Wah, wah, wah. C'mon, it's only childbirth. How much can it hurt?
Julie : Peter, it's like taking your bottom lip and stretching it over your head to the back of your neck.
