- Waldo: You guys think you can walk all over me because I'm dumb. But I have feelings, too. If you cut me, do I not cough? If you hit me, do I not sneeze? And if you call me names, do I not eat?
- Steve Urkel: Oh my God... I actually understood that!
- Harriette Winslow: Captain Savage's girlfriend is a stripper?
- Carl Winslow: Yes! I'd never forget a
- [pauses briefly]
- Carl Winslow: face.
- Waldo: [after Maxine says he'll get an A for his project] Wow... I wonder what an A looks like? I'm always getting it confused with the letter in the alphabet.
- Steve Urkel: [takes their replacement cake out of the oven] Hey... this isn't baked at all! What happened? Why... the oven's not even hot.
- Eddie Winslow: Oh man, Waldo said he'd been having problems with the stove.
- Steve Urkel: Hey... the gas has been on for 45 minutes... do you think that could be a problem?
- [a few seconds later the oven explodes and flies through the door]