Firefly (TV Series)

Objects in Space (2002)

Adam Baldwin: Jayne Cobb

Quotes 

• Jayne Cobb : Wha - are you-are you sayin' she's a witch?

  Hoban 'Wash' Washburne : Yes, Jayne. She's a witch. She has had congress with the Beast.

  Jayne Cobb : She's in Congress?

  Hoban 'Wash' Washburne : How did your brain even learn human speech? I'm just so curious.

• Jayne : Well, I don't like the idea of someone hearin' what I'm thinkin'.

  Inara Serra : No one likes the idea of hearing what you're thinking.

• [after River gets a hold of one of Jayne's guns] 

  Jayne : Let's move this conversation in a not-Jayne's-fault direction. I didn't make her crazy. Hell, I didn't even want 'er on the ship.

  Mal : Is that the direction you want this conversation to go in?

  Jayne : Just don't wanna take a lashin' for something I ain't the cause of.

  Zoë : Where's River at now?

  Mal : In her room, which I'm thinking we bolt from the outside from now on.

  Wash : That's a little extreme, isn't it?

  Jayne : Anybody remember her coming at me with a butcher's knife?

  Wash : Wacky fun.

  Jayne : You wanna go, little man?

  Wash : Only if it's someplace with candlelight.

  Zoë : Sir, I know she's unpredictable, but I don't think she'd harm anyone.

  Jayne : Butcher's knife!

  Zoë : Anyone we can't spare.

• Jayne Cobb : So like, never?

  Book : Well, no.

  Jayne Cobb : Not ever never?

  Book : Some orders allow Shepherds to marry, but I follow a narrower path.

  Jayne Cobb : But, I mean, you still got the urge. They don't... cut it off, or nothin'?

  Book : Mm, no, I'm more or less intact. I just... direct my energy elsewhere.

  Jayne Cobb : You mean like masturbatin'?

  Book : I hope you're not thinking of taking orders yourself.

  Jayne Cobb : Oh, yeah, that'll be the day.

• Jayne Cobb : It ain't impossible! Saint Jayne, it's got a ring to it.

  Book : I'm just trying to remember how many miracles you've performed.

  Jayne Cobb : I once hit a guy in the neck from 500 yards with a bent scope. Don't that count upstairs?

  Book : Oh, it'll be taken into consideration.

  Jayne Cobb : You made that sound kinda ominous.

• Book : I just feel such a fool.

  Jayne : Yeah. All them years of priest trainin', get taken out by one bounty hunter.

• Jayne : And if wishes were horses, we'd all be eatin' steak.