Firefly (TV Series)

Objects in Space (2002)

Alan Tudyk: Hoban 'Wash' Washburne

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jayne Cobb : Wha - are you-are you sayin' she's a witch?

  Hoban 'Wash' Washburne : Yes, Jayne. She's a witch. She has had congress with the Beast.

  Jayne Cobb : She's in Congress?

  Hoban 'Wash' Washburne : How did your brain even learn human speech? I'm just so curious.

• [after River gets a hold of one of Jayne's guns] 

  Jayne : Let's move this conversation in a not-Jayne's-fault direction. I didn't make her crazy. Hell, I didn't even want 'er on the ship.

  Mal : Is that the direction you want this conversation to go in?

  Jayne : Just don't wanna take a lashin' for something I ain't the cause of.

  Zoë : Where's River at now?

  Mal : In her room, which I'm thinking we bolt from the outside from now on.

  Wash : That's a little extreme, isn't it?

  Jayne : Anybody remember her coming at me with a butcher's knife?

  Wash : Wacky fun.

  Jayne : You wanna go, little man?

  Wash : Only if it's someplace with candlelight.

  Zoë : Sir, I know she's unpredictable, but I don't think she'd harm anyone.

  Jayne : Butcher's knife!

  Zoë : Anyone we can't spare.

• Wash : Little River just gets more colorful by the moment. What'll she do next?

  Zoë : Either blow us all up or rub soup in our hair. It's a toss-up.

  Wash : I hope she does the soup thing. It's always a hoot, and we don't all die from it.

• Zoë : I can take this guy out.

  River Tam : He's faster than you - all of you. And he's wearing armor.

  Hoban 'Wash' Washburne : What about his face? Is his face wearing armor?

• Wash : [about River]  Psychic, though? That sounds like something out of science-fiction.

  Zoë : We live in a spaceship, dear.

  Wash : So?

• Wash : Can I mop your brow? I'm at the ready with the fearsome brow mop.