- [last lines]
- Hoban 'Wash' Washburne: Mmmm. Wife soup. I must have done good.
- Zoë Washburne: Yes, dear. You done good.
- Mal: Ow.
- [sighs]
- Mal: Did you tell her?
- Hoban 'Wash' Washburne: Tell her what?
- Mal: Your husband has demanded that we sleep together.
- Zoë Washburne: Really?
- Hoban 'Wash' Washburne: What? Mal, come on.
- Mal: He seems to think it would get all this burning sexual tension out in the open. You know, make a fair fight for your womanly affections.
- Hoban 'Wash' Washburne: No. That was the torture talking. Remember the torture?
- Mal: I know it's a difficult mission but you and I... have to get it on.
- Zoë Washburne: I understand. We have no choice.
- [deadpan]
- Zoë Washburne: Take me, sir. Take me hard.
- Jayne Cobb: Now, something about that is just downright unsettling.
- [Clattering]
- Hoban 'Wash' Washburne: We'll be in our bunk.
- Jayne Cobb: Oh, hey. Free soup.
- Simon: Did you do anything today?
- River Tam: Played with Kaylee. The sun came out, and I walked on my feet and heard with my ears. I hate the bits, the bits that stay down and I work, I f-function like I'm a girl. I hate it because I know it'll go away! The sun grows dark and chaos has come again. It's... fluids. What am I?
- Simon: You are my beautiful sister.
- River Tam: I-I threw up on your bed.
- Simon: Yep. Definitely my sister.
- Zoë Washburne: We're getting him back.
- Jayne: What are we gonna do - clone him?
- Dr. Simon Tam: Well, it's a clean cut. With the right equipment, I should be able to re-attach it. That's assuming there's a head.
- Inara Serra: If I choose a woman, she tends to be extraordinary in some way. And, the fact is, I occasionally have the exact same need you do. One cannot always be oneself in the company of men.
- Councillor: Never, actually.
- Mal: [as Niska cowers] Looks like business ain't runnin' so much as crawlin' away. You wanna meet the real me now?
- Mal: [Niska hears the alarms while he is torturing Mal] Listen, if you've got guests, I can come back later.
- Jayne Cobb: I'm smellin' a lotta 'if' comin' off this plan.
- Zoë Washburne: You could'a stayed in your bunk.
- Jayne Cobb: Could'a, should'a, would'a.
- [cocks rifle]
- Zoë: [regarding Wash's idea for the medicine] I thought your plan was risky! I thought!
- Wash: Then tell me! I am a large, semi-muscular man. I can take it. Don't hide behind Mal cause you know he'll shoot it down for you!
- Zoë: Right, cause what this marriage needs is one more shouting match!
- Wash: No, what this marriage needs is one less husband. Right now it's kinda crowded.
- Zoë Washburne: Preacher, don't the Bible have some pretty specific things to say about killing?
- Shepherd Book: Quite specific. It is, however, somewhat fuzzier on the subject of kneecaps.