The Flintstones (TV Series)

Baby Barney (1962)

Alan Reed: Fred Flintstone

Quotes 

• [after Fred receives a telegram] 

  Wilma Flintstone : Don't read it, Fred. Telegrams are bad news.

  Fred Flintstone : What? Why, that is the silliest thing I ever heard of. Where did you get that idea?

  Wilma Flintstone : Mama always said...

  Fred Flintstone : [mimics]  "Mama always said. Mama always said." Oh, that's a hot one. Now, if you and your mother don't mind, I'll read my telegram.

  [reads the telegram] 

  Fred Flintstone : Oh, no!

  Wilma Flintstone : I knew it, I knew it. Like Mama always said.

  Fred Flintstone : My rich uncle, Tex Hardrock, is coming to visit us.

  Wilma Flintstone : Oh, dear, I knew it would be bad news. Hey, wait a minute, that's good news.

  Fred Flintstone : No, it isn't. It's bad news. Here, read it.

  Wilma Flintstone : [reads telegram]  "Dear favorite nephew: Arriving tomorrow to visit you and your wife. I'm anxious to meet my namesake Little Tex. Signed, Big Tex." Who's Little Tex, Fred?

  Fred Flintstone : That's the bad news. There is no Little Tex.

  Wilma Flintstone : What are you talking about?

  Fred Flintstone : Well, to, uh, get on the good side of my rich uncle, I, um, I told him we named our baby after him.

  Wilma Flintstone : But we have no baby.

  Fred Flintstone : I know that, but we gotta get one before Uncle Tex arrives tomorrow.

  Wilma Flintstone : Oh, come now, Fred. The very soonest we could poss...

  Fred Flintstone : I'm talking about a loaner. A rental baby. Wilma, if there's no Little Tex here when Big Tex arrives, I am disinherited.

  Wilma Flintstone : See? Mama was right.

• [Fred arrives home pushing a baby carriage] 

  Fred Flintstone : Sorry to be gone so long, but old Freddy boy did it again. Our troubles are over.

  Wilma Flintstone : What are you talking about? Where'd you get that carriage?

  Betty Rubble : And where's Barney?

  Fred Flintstone : Girls, I want you to meet the latest addition to our family... Little Tex Flintstone.

  [Barney, dressed as a baby, appears in the carriage shaking a rattle] 

  Barney Rubble : [with a baby voice]  Goo-goo!

  [Betty and Wilma faint in shock and Fred and Barney try to revive them] 

  Fred Flintstone : Come on, Wilma. Open your eyes, sweetheart. See? It's me, Fred.

  Wilma Flintstone : [wakes up]  Fred. Oh, oh, yeah. Fred.

  Barney Rubble : Hey, hey, Betty, wake up, wake up. Look, it's me.

  [Betty wakes up, but after seeing Barney still dressed as a baby, she screams and faints again] 

  Barney Rubble : Uh-oh. B-Betty's out again, Fred.

  Wilma Flintstone : Aaah! There's that thing again!

  [Wilma, too, faints again] 

  Fred Flintstone : Barney, will you shut up and go in the house so I can get them on their feet.

• Store Clerk : Uh, good afternoon, gentlemen. Can I help you?

  Fred Flintstone : Uh, I'm interested in looking at a life-like baby doll.

  Barney Rubble : Yeah, a boy doll.

  Fred Flintstone : He's gotta talk, walk, and go to sleep.

  Store Clerk : Oh, I've got just the doll for you. He walk, talks, and goes to sleep. Watch.

  [the clerk activates the baby boy doll] 

  Baby Doll : Mama. Daddy. Mama. Daddy. Mama. Daddy. Mama.

  Fred Flintstone : Uh, what do you think, Barney?

  Barney Rubble : Well, I think he wants his mom and daddy.

  Fred Flintstone : I mean, will it fool Uncle Tex?

  Barney Rubble : Well, uh, how's Uncle's eyesight?

  Fred Flintstone : Good.

  Barney Rubble : Then it won't fool him.