- Wilma Flintstone: Well, I have one more mission for you right now, dear.
- Fred Flintstone: What'll it be? Fight a bull? Capture a crook? Just name it.
- Wilma Flintstone: Shave a mustache. Now.
- Fred Flintstone: Aw, Wilma, not that. Have a heart.
- Wilma Flintstone: Come on. Now. Start shaving.
- Barney Rubble: It looks like El Terrifico has met his match.
- Wilma Flintstone: Well, aren't you going to wash it off?
- Fred Flintstone: Wash what off?
- Wilma Flintstone: That dirt on your face.
- Fred Flintstone: Wilma, this is not dirt, it's called uno mustachio, and is worn by the more dashing bullfight aficionados.
- Betty Rubble: Have you finished packing yet, Wilma?
- Wilma Flintstone: Not yet, Betty. Fred, the travel expert, won't let me take all my new clothes.
- Fred Flintstone: Wilma, seasoned travelers pack light. Everything you'll need is right in here. Believe me, sweetheart, you'll be the sensation of the beach.
- Wilma Flintstone: I'll say. You only packed half of my bathing suit.
- Fred Flintstone: If there's one thing I don't intend to be on this trip, it's a typical tourist.
- Wilma Flintstone: Fine, dear, you just be your same old, sloppy self and I'll pretend I'm with the Rubbles.
- Betty Rubble: Wilma's still mad 'cause that woman kissed you, Fred.
- Barney Rubble: Well, gosh, Wilma, Fred can't help it if he's attractive to women. An irresistible Don Juan, the international playboy type, the...
- Fred Flintstone: Keep it up, Barney, you'll really fix it for me.
- Fred Flintstone: Picture postcards. That'll be the day.
- Barney Rubble: Well, what's wrong with that, Fred?
- Fred Flintstone: Don't you know anything, Barney? Only tourists run around buying picture postcards.
- Barney Rubble: Well, we are tourists.
- Fred Flintstone: Speak for yourself, Barn. You can hang around those tourist traps if you want to.
- [puts on sunglasses and a sombrero]
- Fred Flintstone: I am going to mingle with the natives. Oooolé!
- Wilma Flintstone: Ooooh, brother.
- Wilma Flintstone: [while packing] Watermelon brunch coat, chestnut capris, strawberry bermudas.
- Fred Flintstone: Hey, Wilma.
- Wilma Flintstone: Just a minute, Fred. Orange waffle piqué skimmer, avocado shift.
- Fred Flintstone: What are you packing, a suitcase or a box lunch?
- Barney Rubble: [about Fred's mustache] Hey, el gordo, you got some dirt on your face.
- Fred Flintstone: Ah, dry up.
- Hostess: Name and address, please.
- Fred Flintstone: Uh, Flintstone, sweetheart. World traveler, et cetera, et cetera. Running down to catch the bullfights. See you aboard.
- [Wilma comes by, carrying all the luggage]
- Wilma Flintstone: The name is Mrs. Flintstone, the address is Bedrock, and I'm beginning to wish I'd stayed there.
- [as Fred continues to pose as El Terrifico]
- Wilma Flintstone: That does it.
- [to an airport clerk]
- Wilma Flintstone: Pardon me. I want to play a little joke. Could you help me?
- [Wilma whispers her trick to the clerk]
- OfficIal: Ah, no, señorita, I cannot. It is not honest, it is not legal, it is...
- [Wilma offers the clerk money]
- OfficIal: A pleasure to help such a lovely señorita!
- OfficIal: Ah, El Terrifico.
- Fred Flintstone: No, no, not anymore. From now on, it's just plain old Fred Flintstone, Bedrock, USA.
- [the short detective whispers something to the airport official]
- OfficIal: Have you anything to declare, señor?
- Fred Flintstone: Only that the best part of a trip is the trip home. I'll see you around.
- OfficIal: [stops Fred] One moment, señor. I must detain you.
- Fred Flintstone: Why? W-What did I do?
- OfficIal: You did not declare your reward money. That is a serious offense.
- [walks away with Fred]
- OfficIal: Come with me.
- Fred Flintstone: But I didn't know. I've never traveled in a foreign country before. Wilma! Tell me this is just another joke! Get me out of this!
- Wilma Flintstone: Okay, let's dig up bail for El Terrifico. I've got a dollar.
- Betty Rubble: Here's 50 cents.
- Barney Rubble: And I've got a dime.
- Fred Flintstone: Wilma!
- Wilma Flintstone: Be right with you, Fred! Here's two more nickels.
- Betty Rubble: I might have a little more loose change.
- Barney Rubble: Hey, I think I found a centavo.
- Fred Flintstone: WIIILMA!
- Wilma Flintstone: Fred has been taking Spanish lessons.
- Betty Rubble: [chuckles] So has Barney. Show them, dear.
- Barney Rubble: Uh, buenos noches, el gordo.
- Fred Flintstone: Oh, very good, Barn. Uh, el gordo is Spanish for Fred.
- Wilma Flintstone: No, it's not, Fred. It means fat one.
- Fred Flintstone: Hey, Wilma, wait!
- OfficIal: Not so fast, senor. Are you not called El Terrifico?
- Fred Flintstone: Well, uh, yeah, why?
- OfficIal: You are wanted in 17 states. Come with me.
- Fred Flintstone: Hey, let go! I was just kidding! Wilma, tell him who I am!
- Wilma Flintstone: I believe you said you were El Terrifico, sir.
- Fred Flintstone: What do you mean sir? I'm your husband! Wilma, come back here!
- OfficIal: You match the description of El Terrifico. He's got mustache like yours.
- Fred Flintstone: What mustache? That's dirt! I'm plain old Fred Flintstone from Bedrock! WILMA!
- Mrs. Slaghoople: Wilma, did you take your suntan lotion and a warm sweater?
- Wilma Flintstone: Yes, Mother. Bye.
- Mrs. Slaghoople: Wire me when you arrive.
- Fred Flintstone: Let's go, Barn.
- Mrs. Slaghoople: And send me a postcard from your hotel.
- Fred Flintstone: Okay. Bye, Mother.
- Mrs. Slaghoople: Stop!
- Fred Flintstone: What? What's the matter?
- Mrs. Slaghoople: You'd better go wash your face, Freddie. There's dirt on your upper lip.
- Fred Flintstone: THAT IS NOT DIRT! GOODBYE!