The Flintstones (TV Series)

How to Pick a Fight with Your Wife Without Really Trying (1966)

Alan Reed: Fred Flintstone, Dad Bunny

Photos 

Quotes 

• Fred Flintstone : I guess you didn't hear, Wilma! I said I'm moving out!

  Wilma Flintstone : I heard.

  Fred Flintstone : Begging ain't gonna do you any good, Wilma, 'cause I'm through! T-H-R-O-O. Through! Now what do you think of that?

  Wilma Flintstone : I think, among other things, you're a terrible speller.

• [while staying at Barney's house] 

  Barney Rubble : What do you like for breakfast, Fred?

  Fred Flintstone : Oh, anything. Steak, dodo eggs, bacon, toast, sausages, rock muffins, pancakes, cereal, french toast, uh, pizza.

  Barney Rubble : Well, which do you want?

  Fred Flintstone : All of them! I'm starved!

• The Great Gazoo : The outcome is assured, Flintstone. It's men who have the superior mind.

  Fred Flintstone : Yeah, you're right.

  Barney Rubble : Only one thing, Mr. Gazoo.

  The Great Gazoo : What's that?

  Barney Rubble : If I've got such a superior mind, how come I'm mixed up in a nutty situation like this?

• [Fred and Wilma crash into each other after each having nightmares] 

  Wilma Flintstone : Oh, Fred, how I missed you. I even dreamed about you.

  Fred Flintstone : I'm always dreaming about you, Wilma. And I want to apologize for all the stupid, childish things I've been doing. Will you forgive me?

  Wilma Flintstone : Of course, Fred. Just let's never quarrel again.

  Fred Flintstone : Never, Wilma. I must have been out of my superior mind.

• Fred Flintstone : Look at Dino over there, look how he's lying there missing me.

  [Dino is seen sleeping, dreaming about a female dinosaur kissing him] 

  Barney Rubble : [sarcastically]  Yeah, he sure looks like he's missing you all right.

  [chuckles] 

  Fred Flintstone : Hey, Dino. Psst, psst. Dino. Here, Dino. Come to Daddy.

  [Dino wakes up] 

  Fred Flintstone : Come to Daddy and show him how much you miss him.

  [Dino walks over to Fred] 

  Fred Flintstone : That's a good Dino. You miss your dadda, don't you?

  [Dino growls and bites Fred's nose] 

  Fred Flintstone : Yeowch!

  [Dino walks away barking] 

  Fred Flintstone : How do you like that? And he's supposed to be man's best friend.

  Barney Rubble : Yeah, he sure didn't miss you that time, Fred.

  [laughs] 

  Fred Flintstone : Diabogeny!

• Fred Flintstone : Wilma, I'm as hungry as a bear! Is dinner ready? Wilma! I'm home! Where's my dinner?

  Wilma Flintstone : Hi, Fred. I'm sorry. Dinner isn't ready yet.

  Fred Flintstone : What do you mean it isn't ready yet? What goes on around here? What have you been doing all day? The least you can do is have my di... di... Uh, I almost forgot. Women are like children.

  [Fred imagines Wilma shrinking down, looking like a little girl] 

  Wilma Flintstone : [with a younger voice]  Well, the washing machine broke down, I had to do all the laundry by hand. Then I had to clean the house, mow the lawn, do the shopping, and press your shirt.

  Fred Flintstone : Aw, that's all right, my dear. I realize you have a lot to do. And if dinner's late, Daddy understands. I'll just read the paper 'til it's ready. By the way, where is the paper?

  Wilma Flintstone : [seen as her normal self]  I don't know. It hasn't come yet.

  Fred Flintstone : [angrily]  What? It hasn't come yet?

  Wilma Flintstone : Uh-oh. Almost forgot. Men are like children, especially my man.

  [Wilma imagines Fred shrinking down, looking like a little boy] 

  Fred Flintstone : [with a younger voice]  My paper didn't come yet. I want my paper! Give me my paper! I WANT IT! I WANT IT! I WANT IT! I WANT IT!

  Wilma Flintstone : All right, all right, dear. As soon as I finish getting dinner, I'll go out and get you a paper.

  [gives ''little'' Fred a bottle and a doll] 

  Wilma Flintstone : There, there now.

  Fred Flintstone : All right. All right, Wilma.

• The Great Gazoo : I don't know. This theory has worked for millions of years, Flintstone, and you're the first one to find a bug in it.

  Fred Flintstone : Well, maybe I'm the first guy to have a wife like Wilma. I did just what you told me. Treated her like a child, used my superior mind, and you know what she gave me for dinner? Pablum!

• Barney Rubble : Boy, Fred, I don't see how you can eat like that just before going to sleep. It would give me nightmares.

  Fred Flintstone : Not me.

  [swallows food] 

  Fred Flintstone : In fact, if anything, cucumber sandwiches make me sleep better. Besides, I gotta eat. It takes my mind off...

  Barney Rubble : Wilma?

  Fred Flintstone : Uh, no. No, not... not Wilma. I got other worries. Uh, business and, uh, things.

  Barney Rubble : Oh.

  Fred Flintstone : Why should I be thinking about Wilma? As a matter of fact, I didn't think about her once today.

  Barney Rubble : Okay.

  [turns out the light and yawns] 

  Barney Rubble : Good night, Betty.

  Fred Flintstone : [yawns]  Good night, Wilma.

• [Betty and Wilma are heard laughing next door] 

  Barney Rubble : Hey, Fred, did you hear that?

  Fred Flintstone : Yeah. Boy, you had Wilma pegged right, Mr. Gazoo. She's over there crying her eyes out.

  Barney Rubble : I don't know, Fred. It sounds more like, uh, like laughing to me.

  Fred Flintstone : Don't be silly, Barney. What has she got to laugh about? Would you laugh if I walked out on you?

  [Barney stares off for a while] 

  Fred Flintstone : Well?

  Barney Rubble : I don't know if I'd laugh, Fred, but it made me feel good just thinking about it.

• Fred Flintstone : [angrily]  Ahh, some breakfast.

  [Muttering a swear under his breath] 

  Fred Flintstone : ,Racka, freda, studafran.

  Pebbles Flintstone : [Imitating her dad's cursing]  Racka, freda, studafran.

  [giggles]