The Flintstones (TV Series)

Ladies' Day (1962)

Mel Blanc: Barney Rubble, Dino

Quotes 

• [after escaping the police] 

  Fred Flintstone : Good boy, Barney!

  Barney Rubble : Uh, you're not mad at me, Fred?

  Fred Flintstone : Mad? Why should I be?

  Barney Rubble : Well, gee, Fred, I ruined your best dress.

• Barney Rubble : You know, Fred, we always been good pals, but this is the first time we tried going steady.

• Bellhop : Can I help you, sir?

  Barney Rubble : Well, I'm, uh, just looking for someone.

  Bellhop : Man or woman?

  Barney Rubble : Why, uh, that depends. I guess a woman. Uh, she's tall, fat, with a big nose, a loud voice, and wearing a dress like you'd find in a rummage sale.

  Bellhop : You sure can pick'em, can't you, mac?

  Barney Rubble : Aw, never mind. I can probably find her myself.

  Bellhop : You probably can, but, uh, let me ask you this, friend, why bother?

• Ticket Taker : Tickets, please.

  Barney Rubble : After you, my sweet.

  [a disguised Fred walks by the ticket taker, using his feminine voice] 

  Fred Flintstone : Thank you, dear

  Barney Rubble : Here's your ticket, bub.

  [shocked by Fred's female appearance, the ticket taker smashes Barney's ticket] 

  Barney Rubble : Hey, what's the matter? I can take her in free, can't I?

  Ticket Taker : Yeah, but, uh, think it over, mac. Are you sure it's worth it?

• Fred Flintstone : Well, we're inside, let me get this rig off.

  Barney Rubble : Well, how are you going to take it off?

  Fred Flintstone : No problem, I just step into the men's washroom.

  Barney Rubble : Well, you can't do that.

  Fred Flintstone : Why not?

  Barney Rubble : Look at yourself.

  Fred Flintstone : Huh? Oh, yeah, this outfit.

  Barney Rubble : Uh, you got to go into the ladies' powder room now.

  Fred Flintstone : Yeah, I wonder where it is.

  [quickly realizes something] 

  Fred Flintstone : Hey! I can't go in there either!

  Barney Rubble : Why not? Oh, oh, oh, yeah. You were wrong, Fred, you have got a problem.

  Fred Flintstone : Ah, the heck with it. Come on. Let's go see the game.

• Fred Flintstone : [after spotting Wilma's pocketbook]  Do you see what I see, Barney?

  Barney Rubble : Eh, looks like a lady's pocketbook.

  Fred Flintstone : And what's inside a lady's pocketbook?

  Barney Rubble : Well, there's can openers, beads, golf balls, string, uh, flashlights, candy bars, the house keys, bananas.

  Fred Flintstone : No, no, no, Barney. Money, mazuma, lettuce.

  Barney Rubble : Oh, oh, yeah, that too.

  Fred Flintstone : It's the answer to a prayer. Barney, I am practically at the ball game now.

  Barney Rubble : Oh, but, Fred, you can't take it. It's hers.

  Fred Flintstone : Barney, this is money, not towels. It ain't marked his and hers.

  [before Fred could touch Wilma's pocketbook, Dino immediately runs in front of it, growling] 

  Fred Flintstone : Now, now, Dino, down, boy, down. It's me, the lord and master.

  [Dino continues growling] 

  Fred Flintstone : Of all the times that mutt picks to be a watchdog.

  Barney Rubble : Hey, give it up, Fred. Before you can put the bite on Wilma, Dino's gonna put the bite on you.

• Barney Rubble : Hi, Fred. Hey, uh, what are you doing home?

  Fred Flintstone : A dinosaurus sat on my lunch box. Look at that, flat as a pancake.

  Barney Rubble : Well, it might have been worse, Fred. You could have sat on it.

• Barney Rubble : Hey, I wonder what's keeping Fred. It's close to game time.

  [sees a fat woman] 

  Barney Rubble : Gee, that could be him. I'd better check.

  [walks to the fat woman] 

  Barney Rubble : Hiya, fatso!

  Fat Woman : I beg your pardon?

  Barney Rubble : Oh, oh, oh, exc-excuse me! I... I thought you was Fred.

  Fat Woman : [to her husband]  Did you hear that? I've never been so insulted in my life.

  Husband : Oh, come on, honey. You must have been.

  Fat Woman : The idea. I ask you, do I look like a Fred?

  Husband : A Fred? No. A Sam, yes, but a Fred, no.

• Senor Rocko : We shall fly away together. You do something for me. Olé!

  [Senor Rocko kisses Wilma's hand as she giggles] 

  Fred Flintstone : Now, here's a little something for you. Olé!

  [Fred grabs Senor Rocko and throws him out of the clubhouse] 

  Guard : Well, that's more like it. Things are back to normal.