The Flintstones (TV Series)
Ladies' Day (1962)
Alan Reed: Fred Flintstone
Photos
Quotes
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[after escaping the police]
Fred Flintstone : Good boy, Barney!
Barney Rubble : Uh, you're not mad at me, Fred?
Fred Flintstone : Mad? Why should I be?
Barney Rubble : Well, gee, Fred, I ruined your best dress.
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Charlie : Uh, what you got for lunch, Fred?
Fred Flintstone : A chicken sandwich.
Charlie : Wow, chicken. Pretty lucky.
Fred Flintstone : Hey, this isn't chicken. It's chopped egg.
Charlie : Egg? Eh. Maybe you just didn't wait long enough.
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Ticket Taker : Tickets, please.
Barney Rubble : After you, my sweet.
[a disguised Fred walks by the ticket taker, using his feminine voice]
Fred Flintstone : Thank you, dear
Barney Rubble : Here's your ticket, bub.
[shocked by Fred's female appearance, the ticket taker smashes Barney's ticket]
Barney Rubble : Hey, what's the matter? I can take her in free, can't I?
Ticket Taker : Yeah, but, uh, think it over, mac. Are you sure it's worth it?
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Fred Flintstone : Well, we're inside, let me get this rig off.
Barney Rubble : Well, how are you going to take it off?
Fred Flintstone : No problem, I just step into the men's washroom.
Barney Rubble : Well, you can't do that.
Fred Flintstone : Why not?
Barney Rubble : Look at yourself.
Fred Flintstone : Huh? Oh, yeah, this outfit.
Barney Rubble : Uh, you got to go into the ladies' powder room now.
Fred Flintstone : Yeah, I wonder where it is.
[quickly realizes something]
Fred Flintstone : Hey! I can't go in there either!
Barney Rubble : Why not? Oh, oh, oh, yeah. You were wrong, Fred, you have got a problem.
Fred Flintstone : Ah, the heck with it. Come on. Let's go see the game.
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Fred Flintstone : [after spotting Wilma's pocketbook] Do you see what I see, Barney?
Barney Rubble : Eh, looks like a lady's pocketbook.
Fred Flintstone : And what's inside a lady's pocketbook?
Barney Rubble : Well, there's can openers, beads, golf balls, string, uh, flashlights, candy bars, the house keys, bananas.
Fred Flintstone : No, no, no, Barney. Money, mazuma, lettuce.
Barney Rubble : Oh, oh, yeah, that too.
Fred Flintstone : It's the answer to a prayer. Barney, I am practically at the ball game now.
Barney Rubble : Oh, but, Fred, you can't take it. It's hers.
Fred Flintstone : Barney, this is money, not towels. It ain't marked his and hers.
[before Fred could touch Wilma's pocketbook, Dino immediately runs in front of it, growling]
Fred Flintstone : Now, now, Dino, down, boy, down. It's me, the lord and master.
[Dino continues growling]
Fred Flintstone : Of all the times that mutt picks to be a watchdog.
Barney Rubble : Hey, give it up, Fred. Before you can put the bite on Wilma, Dino's gonna put the bite on you.
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Fred Flintstone : Now, where's that Barney?
Police Officer : [approaches the disguised Fred] Anything wrong, lady?
Fred Flintstone : What?
[quickly uses a feminine voice]
Fred Flintstone : Oh, oh, uh, uh, no, no. I'm, uh, looking for a fellow, a little guy about so high with a pointy nose.
Police Officer : Oh, he's been fresh with you, too, huh? That guy needs a little talking to. He could use some eyeglasses, too.
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Barney Rubble : Hi, Fred. Hey, uh, what are you doing home?
Fred Flintstone : A dinosaurus sat on my lunch box. Look at that, flat as a pancake.
Barney Rubble : Well, it might have been worse, Fred. You could have sat on it.
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[a disguised Fred attempts to follow Wilma and Senor Rocko into the clubhouse]
Guard : Hey, uh, sorry, miss. No unescorted ladies permitted.
Fred Flintstone : [uses his disguised voice] Uh, ahem. Uh, all right. I'll be back in a minute with my date.
[leaves]
Guard : If I was a betting man, I'd put a year's salary against it.
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Senor Rocko : We shall fly away together. You do something for me. Olé!
[Senor Rocko kisses Wilma's hand as she giggles]
Fred Flintstone : Now, here's a little something for you. Olé!
[Fred grabs Senor Rocko and throws him out of the clubhouse]
Guard : Well, that's more like it. Things are back to normal.