- Betty Rubble: Aaah!
- Wilma Flintstone: Betty, what's wrong?
- Betty Rubble: Barney's handkerchief is covered with lipstick!
- Wilma Flintstone: That's cute.
- Betty Rubble: But it's not my lipstick.
- Wilma Flintstone: That's awful!
- Ticket Taker: Uh, just a minute, ladies. Uh, where's your ticket?
- Betty Rubble: It's Ladies Day, isn't it?
- Ticket Taker: Yeah.
- Betty Rubble: [points to Wilma] Well, I'm with her.
- Ticket Taker: Then where's your ticket?
- Wilma Flintstone: It's Ladies Day, isn't it?
- Ticket Taker: Yeah.
- Wilma Flintstone: [points to Betty] Well, I'm with her.
- Ticket Taker: Oh.
- [after escaping the police]
- Fred Flintstone: Good boy, Barney!
- Barney Rubble: Uh, you're not mad at me, Fred?
- Fred Flintstone: Mad? Why should I be?
- Barney Rubble: Well, gee, Fred, I ruined your best dress.
- Betty Rubble: Uh, did a little man just come in, about so big with a pointy nose?
- Ticket Taker: He just went in.
- Betty Rubble: Was he alone?
- Ticket Taker: No, he wasn't alone, but it would have been an improvement.
- Charlie: Uh, what you got for lunch, Fred?
- Fred Flintstone: A chicken sandwich.
- Charlie: Wow, chicken. Pretty lucky.
- Fred Flintstone: Hey, this isn't chicken. It's chopped egg.
- Charlie: Egg? Eh. Maybe you just didn't wait long enough.
- Police Officer: Did a little man just come in? He's...
- Ticket Taker: I know, I know, about so big with a pointy nose. Yeah, he's here.
- Police Officer: Come on, Sarge.
- Sarge: Yeah, let's get him.
- Ticket Taker: You mind telling me, Officer, why is everybody so interested in finding that guy?
- Sarge: He's one of these smart guys, you know, considers himself a ladies' man.
- Ticket Taker: A ladies' man? You wouldn't think so if you saw the sample he brought in.
- Betty Rubble: [about Barney] There he is with that shameless hussy.
- Wilma Flintstone: Wait a minute. That dress, that hat. Why, they're mine! You know who that is? It's Fred!
- Betty Rubble: Fred? Are you sure?
- Wilma Flintstone: I'd recognize those feet anywhere.
- Barney Rubble: You know, Fred, we always been good pals, but this is the first time we tried going steady.
- Bellhop: Can I help you, sir?
- Barney Rubble: Well, I'm, uh, just looking for someone.
- Bellhop: Man or woman?
- Barney Rubble: Why, uh, that depends. I guess a woman. Uh, she's tall, fat, with a big nose, a loud voice, and wearing a dress like you'd find in a rummage sale.
- Bellhop: You sure can pick'em, can't you, mac?
- Barney Rubble: Aw, never mind. I can probably find her myself.
- Bellhop: You probably can, but, uh, let me ask you this, friend, why bother?
- Ticket Taker: Tickets, please.
- Barney Rubble: After you, my sweet.
- [a disguised Fred walks by the ticket taker, using his feminine voice]
- Fred Flintstone: Thank you, dear
- Barney Rubble: Here's your ticket, bub.
- [shocked by Fred's female appearance, the ticket taker smashes Barney's ticket]
- Barney Rubble: Hey, what's the matter? I can take her in free, can't I?
- Ticket Taker: Yeah, but, uh, think it over, mac. Are you sure it's worth it?
- Fred Flintstone: Well, we're inside, let me get this rig off.
- Barney Rubble: Well, how are you going to take it off?
- Fred Flintstone: No problem, I just step into the men's washroom.
- Barney Rubble: Well, you can't do that.
- Fred Flintstone: Why not?
- Barney Rubble: Look at yourself.
- Fred Flintstone: Huh? Oh, yeah, this outfit.
- Barney Rubble: Uh, you got to go into the ladies' powder room now.
- Fred Flintstone: Yeah, I wonder where it is.
- [quickly realizes something]
- Fred Flintstone: Hey! I can't go in there either!
- Barney Rubble: Why not? Oh, oh, oh, yeah. You were wrong, Fred, you have got a problem.
- Fred Flintstone: Ah, the heck with it. Come on. Let's go see the game.
- [after Fred throws Barney inside of the clubhouse]
- Guard: Well, I've seen them thrown out. That's the first time I've ever seen them thrown in.
- Fred Flintstone: [after spotting Wilma's pocketbook] Do you see what I see, Barney?
- Barney Rubble: Eh, looks like a lady's pocketbook.
- Fred Flintstone: And what's inside a lady's pocketbook?
- Barney Rubble: Well, there's can openers, beads, golf balls, string, uh, flashlights, candy bars, the house keys, bananas.
- Fred Flintstone: No, no, no, Barney. Money, mazuma, lettuce.
- Barney Rubble: Oh, oh, yeah, that too.
- Fred Flintstone: It's the answer to a prayer. Barney, I am practically at the ball game now.
- Barney Rubble: Oh, but, Fred, you can't take it. It's hers.
- Fred Flintstone: Barney, this is money, not towels. It ain't marked his and hers.
- [before Fred could touch Wilma's pocketbook, Dino immediately runs in front of it, growling]
- Fred Flintstone: Now, now, Dino, down, boy, down. It's me, the lord and master.
- [Dino continues growling]
- Fred Flintstone: Of all the times that mutt picks to be a watchdog.
- Barney Rubble: Hey, give it up, Fred. Before you can put the bite on Wilma, Dino's gonna put the bite on you.
- Police Officer: Can I help you ladies?
- Betty Rubble: We're looking for a man.
- Wilma Flintstone: He's a little guy about...
- Police Officer: I know, about this high with a pointy nose.
- Wilma Flintstone: That's right. How did you know?
- Police Officer: He's been annoying every woman on the block.
- Betty Rubble: He has?
- [gasps]
- Betty Rubble: Wait 'til I get a hold of him!
- Police Officer: Yep, you are numbers four and five. Obviously, a fiend is on the loose. I better call the Sarge, we'll need more men.
- [runs off]
- Betty Rubble: You'll need an ambulance, too!
- Fred Flintstone: Now, where's that Barney?
- Police Officer: [approaches the disguised Fred] Anything wrong, lady?
- Fred Flintstone: What?
- [quickly uses a feminine voice]
- Fred Flintstone: Oh, oh, uh, uh, no, no. I'm, uh, looking for a fellow, a little guy about so high with a pointy nose.
- Police Officer: Oh, he's been fresh with you, too, huh? That guy needs a little talking to. He could use some eyeglasses, too.
- Barney Rubble: Hi, Fred. Hey, uh, what are you doing home?
- Fred Flintstone: A dinosaurus sat on my lunch box. Look at that, flat as a pancake.
- Barney Rubble: Well, it might have been worse, Fred. You could have sat on it.
- Barney Rubble: Hey, I wonder what's keeping Fred. It's close to game time.
- [sees a fat woman]
- Barney Rubble: Gee, that could be him. I'd better check.
- [walks to the fat woman]
- Barney Rubble: Hiya, fatso!
- Fat Woman: I beg your pardon?
- Barney Rubble: Oh, oh, oh, exc-excuse me! I... I thought you was Fred.
- Fat Woman: [to her husband] Did you hear that? I've never been so insulted in my life.
- Husband: Oh, come on, honey. You must have been.
- Fat Woman: The idea. I ask you, do I look like a Fred?
- Husband: A Fred? No. A Sam, yes, but a Fred, no.
- [a disguised Fred attempts to follow Wilma and Senor Rocko into the clubhouse]
- Guard: Hey, uh, sorry, miss. No unescorted ladies permitted.
- Fred Flintstone: [uses his disguised voice] Uh, ahem. Uh, all right. I'll be back in a minute with my date.
- [leaves]
- Guard: If I was a betting man, I'd put a year's salary against it.
- Senor Rocko: We shall fly away together. You do something for me. Olé!
- [Senor Rocko kisses Wilma's hand as she giggles]
- Fred Flintstone: Now, here's a little something for you. Olé!
- [Fred grabs Senor Rocko and throws him out of the clubhouse]
- Guard: Well, that's more like it. Things are back to normal.