The Flintstones (TV Series)

Moonlight and Maintenance (1965)

Alan Reed: Fred Flintstone

Photos 

Quotes 

• Fred Flintstone : Well, here we are.

  [the Flintstones arrive in a dark subbasement] 

  Wilma Flintstone : Welcome to the black hole of Calcutta.

  Fred Flintstone : It's probably just a burned out light.

  Wilma Flintstone : Why don't you call the janitor and have him fix it?

  Fred Flintstone : Yeah, I'll do that the first thing in the morn... All right, Wilma. Nobody likes a smart aleck.

• Fred Flintstone : [Fred stops at a wig shop to buy a disguise]  I need a wig, quick!

  Wig Man : That one you're wearing is a little ratty.

  Fred Flintstone : Don't be a wise guy, just give me a wig!

  Wig Man : [Takes the wig off his head and hands it to Fred]  Here you are.

  Fred Flintstone : [Puts on wig and pays clerk]  Thank you. Hm, might as well take this phony mustache too.

  [Pulls the clerk's mustache off and leaves] 

  Wig Man : Boy is he in for a surprise. That mustache was real. Ow! Oooh!

• Police Officer : Hey, buddy. Can't you read that sign? It says no parking.

  Fred Flintstone : Oh, that's all right, officer. I happen to be the new resident stationary engineer.

  Police Officer : I don't care if you are the janitor. The sign says no parking. So get moving.

  Fred Flintstone : Oh, boy.

• Fred Flintstone : Boy, do I hate Saturdays.

  Mowersaurus : Listen to him, will ya. I do all the work and he hates Saturdays.

• [the Flintstones are staying at the Rubbles' house] 

  Fred Flintstone : Yes, sir, it'll sure be nice moving back into my own house.

  Barney Rubble : I know what you mean, Fred. Uh, incidentally, uh, when will that be?

  Fred Flintstone : Well, let's see... they leased the place for a year. That means they gotta be outta here in 364 days. And meanwhile, I'll be glad to help out while I'm here.

  Barney Rubble : Good. You can start today. It's Saturday.

  Fred Flintstone : Doing what?

  Barney Rubble : What else? Mowing the lawn.

  [laughs] 

  Fred Flintstone : Ooh, boy.

• Wilma Flintstone : [after giving Fred a list of chores to do]  Fred, this is getting serious. The roof is in terrible shape, and the water heater's gonna go any minute.

  Fred Flintstone : I know! And I'll get around to it.

  Mowersaurus : That's what he always says.

  Wilma Flintstone : That's what you always say, Fred.

• Wilma Flintstone : Fred, do you know what day this is?

  Fred Flintstone : Certainly. It's Saturday.

  Wilma Flintstone : Right. The day you mow the lawn.

  Fred Flintstone : Okay, okay.

• Fred Flintstone : Isn't that just my luck, Wilma, having Mr. Slate move in? If he ever finds out I'm moonlighting this job, he'll fire me for sure.

  [the intercom phone rings and the bird squawks] 

  Fred Flintstone : SHUT UP!

  Wilma Flintstone : Oh, dear. Even on Saturday, they won't leave you alone.

  [the intercom phone rings and the bird squawks again] 

  Wilma Flintstone : I'll get it.

  [Wilma answers the phone] 

  Wilma Flintstone : Yes? All right. I'll tell him.

  [hangs up] 

  Wilma Flintstone : Fred, that was Mr. Rockroll, the owner.

  Fred Flintstone : What does he want now?

  Wilma Flintstone : He says it's Saturday. He wants you to mow the lawn.

  Fred Flintstone : Ooh, boy.

• Betty Rubble : Fred, Barney told me the news.

  Fred Flintstone : About me accepting the position of resident stationary engineer?

  Betty Rubble : Yes. Just think, that great big building and our Fred, the janitor.

  Fred Flintstone : Not janitor!

  Betty Rubble , Wilma Flintstone : We know. Resident stationary engineer.

• Mr. Slate : Hello? Anybody here?

  [Fred appears in disguise and using a snooty accent] 

  Fred Flintstone : May I be of service?

  Mr. Slate : Yes. I'm thinking of renting an apartment.

  Fred Flintstone : Sorry, sir. There's nothing available except the penthouse. And you wouldn't be interested in that. Extremely expensive, you know.

  Mr. Slate : Well, I didn't want to go too high.

  Fred Flintstone : I don't blame you, sir. Goodbye.

  Mr. Slate : But now that I'm here, I might as well look at it.

  Fred Flintstone : Uh, yeah. All right. Uh, shall we walk up?

  Mr. Slate : Walk? What's wrong with the elevator?

  Fred Flintstone : Elevator? Oh, I say, you are spoofy. Why, the elevator hasn't worked in months.

  Mr. Slate : But it... but it's ten stories.

  Fred Flintstone : How about that?

  [later, an exhausted Fred reaches the 10th floor] 

  Fred Flintstone : [panting]  If you can't make it, we'll just forget about it.

  Mr. Slate : What do you mean can't make it?

  [Mr. Slate runs right up the stairs and past Fred] 

  Mr. Slate : This is great exercise. I wouldn't care if you never fix the elevator.

  Fred Flintstone : [in his normal voice]  Oh, boy.