The Flintstones (TV Series)

Moonlight and Maintenance (1965)

John Stephenson: Mr. Slate, Wrathrock, Wig Man

Quotes 

• Fred Flintstone : [Fred stops at a wig shop to buy a disguise]  I need a wig, quick!

  Wig Man : That one you're wearing is a little ratty.

  Fred Flintstone : Don't be a wise guy, just give me a wig!

  Wig Man : [Takes the wig off his head and hands it to Fred]  Here you are.

  Fred Flintstone : [Puts on wig and pays clerk]  Thank you. Hm, might as well take this phony mustache too.

  [Pulls the clerk's mustache off and leaves] 

  Wig Man : Boy is he in for a surprise. That mustache was real. Ow! Oooh!

• Mr. Slate : Hello? Anybody here?

  [Fred appears in disguise and using a snooty accent] 

  Fred Flintstone : May I be of service?

  Mr. Slate : Yes. I'm thinking of renting an apartment.

  Fred Flintstone : Sorry, sir. There's nothing available except the penthouse. And you wouldn't be interested in that. Extremely expensive, you know.

  Mr. Slate : Well, I didn't want to go too high.

  Fred Flintstone : I don't blame you, sir. Goodbye.

  Mr. Slate : But now that I'm here, I might as well look at it.

  Fred Flintstone : Uh, yeah. All right. Uh, shall we walk up?

  Mr. Slate : Walk? What's wrong with the elevator?

  Fred Flintstone : Elevator? Oh, I say, you are spoofy. Why, the elevator hasn't worked in months.

  Mr. Slate : But it... but it's ten stories.

  Fred Flintstone : How about that?

  [later, an exhausted Fred reaches the 10th floor] 

  Fred Flintstone : [panting]  If you can't make it, we'll just forget about it.

  Mr. Slate : What do you mean can't make it?

  [Mr. Slate runs right up the stairs and past Fred] 

  Mr. Slate : This is great exercise. I wouldn't care if you never fix the elevator.

  Fred Flintstone : [in his normal voice]  Oh, boy.