The Flintstones (TV Series)

Old Lady Betty (1963)

Alan Reed: Fred Flintstone

Quotes 

• Fred Flintstone : Now remember, Betty. You get the phony money and bring it right back to me.

  Betty Rubble : Gee, I'm a little nervous.

  Barney Rubble : Oh, you got nothing to worry about, hon. Me and Fred will be right here all the time. Right, Fred?

  Fred Flintstone : You bet. If they try anything, you just yell out and me and Barney will run for help.

• Betty Rubble : [about the rocking chair]  Like it, Barney?

  Barney Rubble : Great.

  [laughs] 

  Barney Rubble : I look like Rock Whistler's mother. Right, Fred?

  Fred Flintstone : More like his grandfather.

  [Fred and Wilma laughs] 

  Wilma Flintston : But how did you get it, Betty? You haven't saved up enough yet and there wasn't any reward.

  Betty Rubble : Remember the $20 the crooks gave me? Well, that was real and it was just enough so I could buy the chair. But I'm through answering want ads.

  Barney Rubble : [chuckles]  That's a relief.

  Betty Rubble : Now I'm going to write a book.

  [Shocked, Barney falls out of his chair] 

  Barney Rubble : Y-Y-You're gonna write a book?

  Betty Rubble : Uh-huh. A book.

  [using her old lady voice] 

  Betty Rubble : ''I Was An Old Lady Counterfeiter.''

• [upon meeting a disguised Betty] 

  Barney Rubble : Say, uh, you remind me of somebody. Now, who could it be? Oh, I got it! My mother-in-law. Right, Fred?

  Fred Flintstone : Say, that's right!

  Betty Rubble : [using an old lady's voice]  That's very nice of you to say that.

  Barney Rubble : [laughs]  What an old battleaxe she is. Right, Freddy?

  Fred Flintstone : [chuckles]  You ain't kidding!

  [Fred and Barney laugh, causing an angry Betty to hit Barney on the head with an umbrella] 

  Betty Rubble : [laughs innocently]  Excuse me, sonny, my umbrella slipped.

• [after Betty explains to Fred and Barney how she accidentally got involved with the counterfeiters] 

  Betty Rubble : And that's the whole story. How did I know the money was counterfeit?

  Fred Flintstone : Oh, boy!

  Barney Rubble : You can say that again.

  Fred Flintstone : Oh, boy!

• Police Officer : Uh, this your car?

  Fred Flintstone : Uh, yeah. W-What's the idea of the ticket?

  Police Officer : Parked by a fire plug.

  Fred Flintstone : Fire plug?

  [notices the elephant fire plug] 

  Fred Flintstone : Oh. Oh, yeah. Gosh, Officer, you see, I was just...

  Police Officer : Just what do you think would happen if we had a fire?

  Elephant : What fires? The whole town's made of rocks.

• [after hearing the news about the counterfeit money, Fred and Barney find their wives crying outside] 

  Barney Rubble : I knew it. Something's going on and I want to know what it is.

  Fred Flintstone : Hold it! Let me handle this. Now, girls, whatever it is, uh, uh, what is it?

  [Wilma and Betty cry harder] 

  Barney Rubble : [sarcastically]  Oh, swell. You handled it just great, Freddy boy.

  Fred Flintstone : One more crack out of you, Barney, and there'll be a new moon shot tonight.