- Fred Flintstone: [seeing Barney lying on the ground, obviously in pain] What happened to you?
- Barney Rubble: [in agony] I just got run over by a piano!
- Fred Flintstone: Which way did it go?
- Barney Rubble: [indicating with a raised arm] It went that way, Fred!
- Fred Flintstone: [the piano gets stuck in the doorway] Stand back, Barney. I'm going to put a little weight behind it.
- Barney Rubble: But Fred, you're a lot of weight!
- [Fred takes a run at the piano and proceeds to knock it over Barney and out the other side of the house]
- Mailman: [the piano drops on Barney's foot. In order to keep from waking Wilma, Barney runs down the street away from the house and screams into a mailbox. A few moments after Barney leaves, the mailman arrives and opens the mailbox, letting out Barney's scream of pain] I gotta stop eating in those cheap restaurants!
- Barney Rubble: [while looking over the hot piano] Hold it? Do you get a guarantee with it?
- Eighty-Eight Fingers Louie: Certainly. I guarantee it's a piano. And when Eighty-Eight Fingers Louie makes that guarantee he stands by it.
- Fred Flintstone: [In a mysterious voice...] And remember, we meet here at midnight!
- Barney Rubble: [Imitating the salesman] Weeeeeeellllllll, aren't we sneaky!
- Fred Flintstone: Oh boy!
- Fred Flintstone: When can you deliver?
- Clerk: It's your piano, when do you want it?
- Fred Flintstone: Tonight, after my wife's asleep.
- Clerk: Weeeeeeellllllll, aren't we sneaky!