- Fred Flintstone: Hi there young fella, what's your name?
- Alvin: Alvin.
- Fred Flintstone: Alvin what?
- Alvin: Alvin... thank you.
- Fred Flintstone: No, I mean your other name. What does your mommy call your daddy?
- Alvin: She don't call him anything, she likes him!
- Fred Flintstone: [getting irritated] Well, what does the name say on your mailbox?
- Alvin: U.S. Mail.
- Fred Flintstone: Say, isn't your father A.A. Carborundum?
- Alvin: Yeah, so what?
- Fred Flintstone: Well, do you know who I am?
- Alvin: You mean you don't know that, either?
- Fred Flintstone: Smart aleck kid.
- Bruce and Robert's Mother: What happened to Charlie?
- Fred Flintstone: Charlie?
- Bruce and Robert's Mother: The other bus driver with the white hair.
- Fred Flintstone: White hair? I guess they retired him.
- Bruce and Robert's Mother: Why? He was only twenty-seven.
- Mrs. Gabbystone: [going a mile a minute without stopping for breath] I'm Mrs Gabbystone and these are my children Paul, Hope, Hilary, and James. And I wondered it if would be too much to ask if you could drive fast past the field of goldenrod. And poor little Paulie has hay fever. Goodbye children, and be good. And please don't let Hope sit next to Shirley Shale. I'm mad at her mother. Oh, and I promised little Jimmy I'd let him sit in your lap. He's such an insecure child. But please take it easy turning corners, he gets carsick.
- [Fred drives off after unable to get in a word in despite several attempts]
- Mrs. Gabbystone: And I wish they'd get some friendlier drivers. He didn't even say good morning!
- Fred Flintstone: [while driving the school bus] Oh, boy. Barney, give me that speech again about being responsible for the future presidents and like that. Barney?
- [looks behind him and stops the bus]
- Fred Flintstone: All right, Rubble, I see you sneaking out that window! Come back here, you coward, and finish this mission!
- Barney Rubble: [reading the bus' manual to Fred] First you put your two feet close up tight. The clutch is on the left and the brake is on the right. Take hold of the wheel kind of nice and light. And twist it around with all your might. Now shove your lovin's hand way out in space. And ease it into gear with style and grace. If you've gone this far you can't turn back. Geronimo, and good luck Jack!
- Wilma Flintstone: But I thought Mr. Granite was gonna offer you a new job.
- Fred Flintstone: Oh, he did, he did. With a big fat cut in my paycheck!
- Wilma Flintstone: Oh, Fred, no! So what did you say to Mr. Granite?
- Fred Flintstone: I kept my temper. I didn't want to say anything I'd be sorry for. I took a long deep breath, counted to ten slowly, and then, kind of casual like, I said, "Granite, it's time we had a man-to-mouse talk. You're so cheap, you look over the top of your glasses to keep from wearing them out. You're so stingy that if your wife got hiccups, you'd rent her out to a glass blower. In brief, Mr. Granite, you are nothing but a short, bald, disagreeable old slave-driving sourpuss."
- [knocks Barney down]
- Barney Rubble: That's telling me, Fred.
- Wilma Flintstone: You didn't say that.
- Fred Flintstone: Are you kidding? I certainly did.
- Wilma Flintstone: And what did he say to you?
- Fred Flintstone: Nothing.
- Wilma Flintstone: Nothing?
- Fred Flintstone: Nope. When I was taking that first long deep breath and counting to ten slowly, the little sneak left the office!