The Flintstones (TV Series)

The Picnic (1961)

Alan Reed: Fred Flintstone

Quotes 

• Wilma Flintstone : Fred, if you're ready, I'll put your breakfast on the fire. How do you want the brontosaurus steak done?

  Fred Flintstone : Uh, hold it a minute, Wilma. I'm going over to tell Barney the deal I made with Joe Rockhead.

  Wilma Flintstone : Well, it's beyond me how you could do such a thing to your best friend.

  Fred Flintstone : What's one thing got to do with the other?

  [outside, Barney has just arrived and is listening] 

  Fred Flintstone : Even though he's known as Second-place Rubble, he'll always be my best friend. Why, there's nothing in this whole wide world I wouldn't do for that dear old pal of mine and I venture to say there's nothing he wouldn't do for dear old me.

  Barney Rubble : That's for sure.

  Wilma Flintstone : I just know he'll feel very hurt when he hears you're teaming with Joe Rockhead.

  [Barney is shocked] 

  Fred Flintstone : Wilma, I'm gonna prove to you that nothing could come between the true blue friendship that me and Barney have for each other.

  [looks outside and walks out] 

  Fred Flintstone : Hiya, Barney. I want to chat with you.

  [a beating sound is heard] 

  Fred Flintstone : Wilma, I'll take that steak now.

  Wilma Flintstone : How do you want it?

  Fred Flintstone : [walks to Wilma with a black eye]  Raw. How else?

  Wilma Flintstone : Fred!

  [Fred stands at the front door and covers his black eye with the steak] 

  Fred Flintstone : True blue friend, my eye. What a sorehead.

• Fred Flintstone : Well, honey, as the saying goes, I'm off to the races.

  Wilma Flintstone : And I'll be right here when you get back... with the first aid kit.

• [Fred is sleeping] 

  Wilma Flintstone : [in Fred's dream]  He's my husband, and I ought to know he's a nice guy.

  Fred Flintstone : Nice guys finish last.

  Barney Rubble : [in Fred's dream]  Fred Flintstone is my best friend. He's the nicest guy I know.

  Fred Flintstone : Nice guys finish last.

  Betty Rubble : [in Fred's dream]  Fred's a very nice guy.

  Fred Flintstone : Nice guys finish last!

  Grand Poobah : [in Fred's dream]  And the booby prize again goes to Flintstone and Rubble, a couple of nice guys who, of course, finished last!

  [laughter is heard and Fred wakes up freaking out] 

  Fred Flintstone : No! No! I'm not a nice guy! I'm a dirty, no good...

• Fred Flintstone : Oh, boy, why do you always wait 'til Saturday to go marketing?

  Wilma Flintstone : You know perfectly well why. You get paid on Friday.

• Betty Rubble : Men!

  Wilma Flintstone : Yeah. You can't live with them...

  Fred Flintstone : Wilma!

  Wilma Flintstone : And you can't live with... I sometimes wonder about the rest of that saying.

• [Fred is giving Barney the 1st place cup] 

  Fred Flintstone : To the winner of the wheelbarrow race and new champ, Barney Rubble.

  Barney Rubble : Aw, you keep it, Fred.

  Fred Flintstone : Oh, no. To the victor belongs the spoils. So here's the spoils.

  Barney Rubble : Nope. You always wanted it, Fred.

  Fred Flintstone : Take it, I said!

  Barney Rubble : Keep it yourself!

  Fred Flintstone : Take it, or I might change my mind!

  [from inside the house, Wilma and Betty are listening] 

  Wilma Flintstone : It's like the sound of music.

  Barney Rubble : I told you, I don't want it!

  Betty Rubble : Like old times again.

  Wilma Flintstone : Excuse me, Betty. There's something I must get in the kitchen.

  Betty Rubble : Oh, sure, Wilma. Mind if I tag along?

  Wilma Flintstone : Not at all, Betty.

  Fred Flintstone : Are you gonna take this cup?

  Barney Rubble : Nope, and definitely nope!

  Betty Rubble : [gasps]  Oh, what a beautiful steak, Wilma. How does Fred like it?

  Wilma Flintstone : Usually medium.

  Fred Flintstone : If you don't take this cup, so help me...

  [a beating sound is heard from outside] 

  Fred Flintstone : Wilma!

  Wilma Flintstone : But lately he's been taking his steak raw.

  [walks to Fred] 

  Wilma Flintstone : Here you are, Fred.

  Fred Flintstone : [covers his black eye with the steak again]  That Barney. Remind me never to speak to him again. Ooooh! My eye!

• Wilma Flintstone : All right, Fred. It's up to you. It's your move.

  Fred Flintstone : Okay, Wilma.

  Joe Rockhead : I'm glad this is the last hand. I'm sleepy.

  Wilma Flintstone : Fred, Joe and Rita would like to go to sleep. It's your play.

  Fred Flintstone : Just a minute. I'm thinking.

  Wilma Flintstone : About what? You have only one card left.

  Fred Flintstone : Oh, well, I think it's our trick with my ace.

  Rita Rockhead : Sorry, Fred. I trump it.

  Fred Flintstone : Where did you get that trump? I counted all 12 out.

  Wilma Flintstone : Begging your pardon, Mr. Culbertson, but there are 13 trumps in the deck.

  Fred Flintstone : Criticizing, always criticizing.

• Wilma Flintstone : Fred, that was a mean thing to say about Barney.

  Fred Flintstone : Mean? What did I say?

  Wilma Flintstone : You know perfectly well. You were suggesting to Joe that you'd like to be his partner at the picnic.

  Fred Flintstone : Well, that's ridiculous. Would I doublecross Barney, my best friend, just to win a couple of those great, big, first-place loving cups, that would look so wonderful in our living room? That I could show off to everybody? That would make me the proudest man in Bedrock? Now, would I do that?

  Wilma Flintstone : Yes.