- Barney Rubble: Fred, may I ask one question?
- Fred Flintstone: Okay, but you better make it a good one 'cause it's the last time I'm talking to you. Go ahead, ask.
- Barney Rubble: Okay, Fred. Why did you drink my car polish?
- Fred Flintstone: Car polish? CAR POLISH?
- [stutters]
- Fred Flintstone: Car polish! I'm poisoned! Do something, Barney, do something!
- Barney Rubble: I'll get a chamois!
- TV Detective: [Barney's flipping through channels and finds a detective show, complete with spooky music] Good evening, friends. This is your mystery hour. Brought to you by...
- Betty Rubble: BARNEY!
- [Barney flies into the air]
- Betty Rubble: [when the doctor leaves] Why, he's a veterinarian.
- Wilma Flintstone: I must've gotten the wrong list of doctors.
- Barney Rubble: Oh, I don't know. Fred eats like a horse.
- Barney Rubble: [about the unconscious Fred] Well, uh, maybe we can sneak him into his house and put him on his sofa and she'll think he's asleep.
- Betty Rubble: Sneak him into the house? Well, that's like sneaking an elephant into a telephone booth.
- [upon hearing Fred sing next door]
- Betty Rubble: Some poor mastodon is caught in the tar pit.
- Barney Rubble: Yeah, they get caught in the tar, and they gradually sink.
- Betty Rubble: They ought to put a fence around the tar pit.
- Barney Rubble: Hey, that's not a mastodon. It's Fred singing.
- Betty Rubble: Well, they ought to put a fence around him.
- [after Fred bowls a gutter ball]
- Teammate: It went into the gutter. What happened, Fred?
- Fred Flintstone: Never mind that Fred stuff. My name is Frederick.
- Bowling Team: Frederick?
- Barney Rubble: Uh-oh. They've been looking for Frederick. I'd better get him out of here.
- [later, Barney is racing home with Fred]
- Fred Flintstone: But I'm their captain. This is mutiny.
- Barney Rubble: And if they catch us, it'll be worse than that!
- Barney Rubble: I'm telling you, Wilma, every guy in town is out to get him. They even formed a Get-rid-of-Frederick-or-else club.
- Fred Flintstone: [about Barney] I'll give him a piece of my mind.
- Wilma Flintstone: Not too big a piece, Fred. You haven't any to spare.
- Fred Flintstone: [mimics] "You haven't any to spare." How droll. How very droll.