The Flintstones (TV Series)

Wilma, the Maid (1963)

Jean Vander Pyl: Wilma Flintstone, Mrs Vanderock

Quotes 

• Wilma Flintstone : Last week, the TV set broke down. Fred wouldn't even call a repairman.

  Betty Rubble : How'd you get it fixed?

  Wilma Flintstone : I took a screwdriver and poked around myself.

  Betty Rubble : [gasps]  But that's dangerous, all that power. Suppose you touched the wrong thing?

  Wilma Flintstone : I did. That's how my hair got so curly. I'm the only woman in town who got her permanent on Channel 17.

• [Wilma pretends to be ill] 

  Fred Flintstone : Now, come on, Wilma. You know there's nothing wrong with you.

  Wilma Flintstone : But I'm sick, Fred. Sick, sick, sick! Do I have to cry to show you how sick I am?

  Fred Flintstone : Oh, don't cry. Your mascara's running enough already.

  Wilma Flintstone : My mascara?

  [touches her makeup] 

  Wilma Flintstone : Oh, you knew all the time!

  [Wilma starts to cry heavily] 

  Fred Flintstone : Of course. Oh, Wilma. No, no, no. Stop! Stop, Wilma! Wilma, stop! The... The neighbors will think I'm beating you, Wilma! Stop! Okay, okay, okay! You can have the maid!

  [Wilma stops crying] 

  Wilma Flintstone : I can have a maid?

  Fred Flintstone : Yeah, but I sure don't know where I'll get the money to pay for it.

  Wilma Flintstone : We'll manage. You'll see.

  [walks away] 

  Fred Flintstone : Wilma, what are you doing?

  [Wilma starts vacuuming and scrubbing the floor] 

  Wilma Flintstone : Oh, I know a nice woman who'll help with the cleaning and cooks the most wonderful Italian dishes.

  Fred Flintstone : But you're getting a maid. Why are you cleaning?

  Wilma Flintstone : Oh, I couldn't let her see the house this way.

• [after Wilma confesses to the Vanderocks] 

  Mrs. Vanderock : You're not a maid? Oh, and we thought the Rubbles were trying to be snobs.

  Barney Rubble : Oh, heck, I'm no snob. I don't even know how to spell it.

• [to convince Fred she needs a maid, Wilma carries in a heavy load of logs while Fred and Barney play cards] 

  Fred Flintstone : Make like you don't see her. Uh, your pick, Barney.

  [Wilma walks by groaning] 

  Fred Flintstone : Uh, my pick now. Oh ho! Boy, what a hand.

  [Wilma continues to groaning] 

  Barney Rubble : I'll bet your hand is better than mine, Fred.

  [Wilma angrily drops the logs] 

  Fred Flintstone : Hey, Wilma, did you just carry all those logs in here?

  Wilma Flintstone : Yes, I did.

  Fred Flintstone : Oh, honey, I don't want you carrying loads like that. That's much too heavy for you. Next time, make two trips.

• Betty Rubble : [about a maid]  I'd give anything for one.

  Wilma Flintstone : Why don't you ask Barney?

  Betty Rubble : [giggles]  Because I hate to see a grown man cry.

• Betty Rubble : Take Mrs. Vanderock's stole, Barney.

  Barney Rubble : My pleasure.

  [removes the stole] 

  Mrs. Vanderock : How nice. Be careful with it. It's mink, you know.

  Barney Rubble : Hm. Smells like skunk to me.

  Minkasaurus : Well, you don't smell like a bed of roses to me, either.