Frasier (TV Series)

Oops (1993)

David Hyde Pierce: Dr. Niles Crane

Quotes 

• Niles : I really have to go. I'm conducting a seminar on multiple personality disorders, and it takes me forever to fill out the name tags.

• Niles : [handing her one of Maris' dead plants]  Daphne, I have a fervent hope that you can coax this

  [plant] 

  Niles : back to life. It's one of Maris' favorites.

  Daphne : My goodness! What did she do to it?

  Niles : Nothing, just... loved it.

• Niles : [after receiving a phone call from Maris]  Sorry, I have to go. Maris is despondent. They kicked her out of the cast of "Cats".

  Daphne : Why?

  Niles : She couldn't remember the words to "Memory".

• [first lines] 

  Niles : So I just had to get out of the house. Maris' Junior League is rehearsing their spring musicale. This year, they're doing "Cats". For the past week and a half I've been watching two dozen underweight, tightly-pulled women in leotards crawling around the music room meowing. I'm telling you, Frasier, my allergies are acting up.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Oh, Niles, I think you're exaggerating.

  Niles : No, no, really. You have no idea how vivid the experience is. As God is my judge, I swear Mrs. Presley Bismouth was scent-marking the divan.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : God, you'd think women of that age would choose more suitable material. You remember the last show they did, "The Sound of Music"? My God! Half the von Trapp children were having hot flashes.

• Chopper Dave : [yelling]  Nice to meet you, Niles!

  Niles : [to Frasier]  Why is this man yelling?

  Chopper Dave : [in a lower tone]  Oh, was I yelling? Oh God, I was yelling again, wasn't I? Sorry, it's... talkin' over the blades.

  [Chopper Dave is a traffic reporter and mimics the sound of whirling blades on a helicopter]