Frasier (TV Series)

The Show Where Diane Comes Back (1996)

John Mahoney: Martin Crane

Quotes 

• Martin Crane : Listen, it's none of my business, but you're not falling for her again, are you?

  Frasier : What if I were?

  Martin Crane : That woman dumped you at the altar.

  Frasier : Oh, that was the old Diane. She no longer sees herself as the center of the universe. And I'm not the old Frasier, either. People can change, Dad.

  Martin Crane : Yeah, I suppose you're right. Take me for instance. The old Martin would have said "you're out of your mind. I'd rather see you go gay and shack up with the punk who shot me than go off with her. I'd rather see you sewed up inside the body of a dead horse." But the new Martin just says "vivee a l'amour."

  Frasier : The new Frasier resists the temptation to correct your French.

• Diane Chambers : So there I was on the balcony of my Malibu beach house when a pod of whales passed by. I knew I had to commune with these gentle giants, so like a flash I was on the beach scrambling to my kayak. But cruel fortune interceded when not twenty yards offshore I suddenly discovered myself entangled in an enormous bed of, of, um...

  Niles : Sea kelp.

  Diane Chambers : Exactly right. Sea kelp.

  Martin Crane : Oh ho, that's funny. I thought he said "Seek help."

• Frasier : [Martin walks in just after Diane invites Frasier to see her play]  Are you sure you're ready for this?

  Diane Chambers : Oh yes, it's time. Tonight, I bare myself to you.

  Frasier : [Martin ducks behind the pillar]  Big step, Diane.

  Diane Chambers : Oh well, I have to say I'm a little nervous about it. But, barring any lighting or prop problems, the whole thing will be over in a couple of hours.

  Martin Crane : [heading to the kitchen]  Hello! People still in the house here!