- Will: [Will has a dopey look on his face, and wearing a wig] I'm stuck in a basement, sittin' on a tricycle. Girl gettin' on my nerves.Going out of my mind. I thought she was fine. Don't know if her body is hers.
- Will: [singing] I'm stuck in the basement sitting on a tricycle, girlfriend getting on my nerves. Going outta my mind, I thought she was fine, don't know if her body is hers.
- Will: [to Kathleen] Maybe we don't know each other as well as we thought. Listen to me. I'm starting to sound like my Uncle Phil. Next thing I know, I'm gonna wake up bald and hungry.
- Will: Kathleen, in the last 3 hours you've taken out your eyeballs, your fingernails, your eyelids, and your hair. What other parts of your body can I get at the mall?
- Hilary Banks: I'm sitting next to Arnold.
- Ashley Banks: I'm sitting next to Arnold.
- Phillip Banks: I don't want my tires slashed, *Geoffrey's* sitting next to Arnold.
- [Will and his girlfriend are trapped in the basement after and earthquake]
- Will: [singing] I'm stuck in a basement, sittin' on a tricycle, girl gettin' on my nerves; Goin' outta my mind, I thought she was fine, don't know if her body is hers.
- Vivian Banks: [walking downstairs] I'm Ready.
- Phillip Banks: Ah, finally. What took you so long?
- Vivian Banks: Oh I just spent an hour chasing my outfit on the new rotating dressrack.
- Phillip Banks: Why didn't you set the variable speed adjustment?
- Vivian Banks: Phillip, these gadgets are making my life miserable.
- Phillip Banks: Well honey, you're the one who said we should redecorate.
- Vivian Banks: Well yeah! I said we should keep up with the Joneses, honey, not the *Jetsons*!
- Will: Look before this turns into a argument can we have our tickets so we can go, please?
- Phillip Banks: Oh, certainly.
- [starts looking in his suit]
- Vivian Banks: You lost them did'nt you?
- Phillip Banks: No, I did'nt, I know exactly where they are. There in my desk... In my office... Downtown.
- Will: Awww!
- Vivian Banks: No problem. We'll just hop on my dress rack and swing by.
- Hilary Banks: Dad got us all tickets to the People's Choice Awards.
- Ashley Banks: [looks at Hilary] Thanks for letting me tell them.
- [looks at her mom]
- Ashley Banks: And the best part is...
- Hilary Banks: We get to sit next to Arnold and Maria.
- Ashley Banks: Hil, you promised I could tell them.
- Hilary Banks: I know. I lied.
- Geoffrey: [after Hilary, Carlton and Ashley fight over the car radio station, Geoffrey takes the the knob, twists it off and throws it out of the window] It was either the knob or one of *you*!
- Will: [after Kathleen screams when Will says "Breath Mints" one more time] And your Mom sucks breath mints, *too*!