- Philip Banks: [to Michelle Michaels] I'm Philip Banks. This is my wife, Vivian. We're not hip, so we don't know your music. Nice to meet you anyway though.
- Carlton Banks: Hey, I checked her coat.
- Geoffrey: Really? I wonder who'll play you in the movie of her life.
- William 'Will' Smith: There ain't gonna be a rematch. When he gets out of the hospital, he can have her.
- Philip Banks: She dumped you?
- William 'Will' Smith: Man you crazy?... Yeah.
- Philip Banks: It was a nice ride while it lasted.
- William 'Will' Smith: I think I loved her.
- Philip Banks: Bull, you hardly knew her.
- William 'Will' Smith: No, no. Uncle Phil, I knew her. You know what I'm saying? I knew her.
- Philip Banks: You might have known her intimately, but you didn't know her well. Come on, face it, Will, it was the lifestyle you're in love with.
- William 'Will' Smith: Time out. You trying to say that the only reason I loved her was because she was rich and let me sponge off of her? Then I love you too, Uncle Phil.
- Vivian Banks: No, no you're not bringing a naked woman into my house
- Jazz: You misunderstand, she doesn't come naked
- Michelle Michaels: Come on. This isn't goodbye. You only say goodbye to people you're never gonna see again. This is more like, see you later. I'll see you later, Will.
- [walks off]
- William 'Will' Smith: [puts down the ring] Good-bye, Michelle.
- [walks off... then comes back and retrieves the ring]
- William 'Will' Smith: What am I supposed to do with a dude putting his hands all over my woman? Look, besides, he deserved it. He stole one of your rings.
- Michelle Michaels: Will, I gave him that ring.
- William 'Will' Smith: You did?
- Michelle Michaels: Yeah, I did. I give out a lot of rings.
- William 'Will' Smith: Well, I'm saying, this one you gave me is the last one though, right?
- Michelle Michaels: I just gave one to the paramedic.
- William 'Will' Smith: I was wondering why he was taking your pulse...
- Geoffrey: I'm proud to announce Miss Michelle Michaels!
- William 'Will' Smith: [to Michelle] Are you stalking me?
- Philip Banks: [to Ashley] You were perfect, he fell for it, he'll never know we're throwing him a surprise party
- Hilary Banks: We're throwing him a surprise party?