- William 'Will' Smith: That's quite an arm you got on you.
- Billy: I know, I was going to play for the Dodgers.
- William 'Will' Smith: Maybe you will some day.
- [pause]
- William 'Will' Smith: Billy, how did you die?
- Billy: I was playing ball in my yard, this car jumped the curve and came at me. The driver was drunk.
- William 'Will' Smith: [Jim offers Will a cigarette] Ah no thanks dude, I don't smoke, and neither should you for that matter... I just gave a health tip to a dead guy.
- William 'Will' Smith: No offense but y'all died for some pretty stupid reasons.
- Judith: Now that's where you're wrong. We may have paid the ultimate price, but we had everybody's respect.
- William 'Will' Smith: Yes, their LAST respects.
- William 'Will' Smith, Jackie Ames: You know what? You ain't ever gonna change! I'm getting the last word! Oh, no, you're not! Oh, yes, I am! DAMN!
- Carlton Banks: Freeze! Will, what the heck do you think you're doing? You can't drink!
- William 'Will' Smith: Why not?
- Carlton Banks: Because you're underage. It's against the law, mister!
- William 'Will' Smith: Thank you, McGruff the Crime Dog.
- Jim: Drinking contests are nowheresville. You want to prove yourself you do a chicken run. You and this other guy race towards a cliff, first one to jump is chicken. That's how I got here, I won.
- William 'Will' Smith: Let's see, you drove off a cliff, the other dude who didn't is probably laying up under your girl, and you're here for eternity playing poker with no chips. Way to go.
- Jim: Hey, he called me yellow!
- Judith: Oh please, Rebel without a clue. It's people like you that make me glad I never had kids.
- Carlton Banks: I'm going to drive Jackie home, hand over your car keys.
- William 'Will' Smith: Okay.
- [gives Carlton a key, Carlton leaves]
- William 'Will' Smith: Have fun driving my gym locker! Ha ha!