"Friends" The One with Phoebe's Birthday Dinner (TV Episode 2002) - David Schwimmer as Dr. Ross Geller

[Rachel is nervous about leaving Emma alone in the apartment for a few minutes]

Rachel : What if she jumped out the basinet?

Ross : Can't hold her own head up, but yeah, jumped.

Rachel : Oh my God, I left the water running.

Ross : Rach, you did not leave the water running. Please, just pull yourself together, okay?

Rachel : Ah, did I leave the stove on?

Ross : You haven't cooked since 1996.

Rachel : Is the window open? Because if there's a window open, a bird could fly in there.

Ross : Oh my god, you know what, yeah, I think you're right. I think... listen, listen.

Rachel : Huh?

Ross : A pigeon, a pigeon. No, no wait, no, no, an eagle flew in. Landed on the stove and caught fire. The baby, seeing this, jumps across the apartment to the mighty bird's aid. The eagle, however, misconstrues it as an act of aggression and grabs the baby in its talons. Meanwhile the faucet fills the apartment with water. Baby and bird still ablaze are locked in a death grip, swirling around in the whirlpool that fills the apartment.

Rachel : Boy, are you gonna be sorry if that's true.
Judy Geller : [Telling Rachel the "Willy" story with Ross present] I understand separation is hard. One time I was about to leave Ross to go to the beauty parlor and he got so upset he took off his clothes tucked his "willy" in between his legs and cried out "mommy I'm a girl take me with you".

Ross : [Feeling embarrassed to Rachel and sarcastically to Judy] Somehow it became easily to be apart from you.

David Schwimmer: Dr. Ross Geller