- [Phoebe changes her name after marrying Mike]
- Monica: Hello, Miss Buffay.
- Phoebe: Oh, that's not my name any more.
- Monica: Oh, you changed it? Congratulations, Mrs. Hannigan.
- Phoebe: No, that's not my name either.
- Monica: What did you change your name to?
- Phoebe: Princess Consuela Bananahammock.
- Chandler: That's what we were gonna name the baby.
- Phoebe: Rita is a massage client.
- Mike Hanigan: Oh, why don't you introduce me?
- Phoebe: Rita, this is my husband.
- Mike Hanigan: Why don't you tell her my name?
- Phoebe: Ok, I will. This is... this is my husband, Crap Bag.
- Rita - Massage Client: Crap Bag.
- Mike Hanigan: If you need an easy way to remember it just think of a bag of crap.
- Joey Tribbiani: How did you get to be so smart?
- Mackenzie: Well, I read alot.
- Joey Tribbiani: Just when I thought we could be friends!
- Phoebe: Yeah, I changed my name. Meet Princess Consuela Bananahammock!
- Mike Hanigan: What...? Well, I guess I'm gonna change my name.
- Phoebe: Oh yeah? To what?
- Mike Hanigan: Uh... Crap Bag.
- [first lines]
- Mike Hanigan: Thank you guys for having us over.
- Phoebe: Yeah, this is fun, couples night.
- Chandler: I don't know why we don't hang out with married couples more often.
- Monica: Because every time we do, you make jokes about swinging and scare them away.
- Chandler: You mean that Portuguese couple? Yeah, like you wouldn't have done it.