Futurama (TV Series)

A Big Piece of Garbage (1999)

Katey Sagal: Turanga Leela

Photos 

Quotes 

• Fry : Did you build the Smelloscope?

  Professor Hubert Farnsworth : No, I remembered that I'd built one last year. Go ahead, try it. You'll find that every heavenly body has its own particular scent. Here, I'll point it at Jupiter.

  Fry : Smells like strawberries.

  Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Exactly. And now, Saturn.

  Fry : Pine needles. Oh, man, this is great... hey, as long as you don't make me smell Uranus.

  Leela : I don't get it.

  Professor Hubert Farnsworth : I'm sorry, Fry, but astronomers renamed Uranus in 2620 to end that stupid joke once and for all.

  Fry : Oh. What's it called now?

  Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Urrectum. Here, let me locate it for you.

  Fry : No, no, I, I think I'll just smell around a bit over here.

• Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Behold, the death clock. Simply jam your finger in the hole, and this readout tells you how long you have to live.

  Leela : Does it really work?

  Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Well, it's occasionally off by a few seconds, what with free will and all.

  Fry : Sounds like fun. How long do I have to live?

  [sticks his finger in the hole; the professor looks and whistles] 

  Bender : Ooh! Dibs on his CD player!

• Leela : We recycle everything. Robots are made out of old beer cans.

  Bender : Yeah, and this beer can is made out of old robots.

  Leela : And that sandwich your eating is made out of old, discarded sandwiches. Nothing just gets thrown away.

  Fry : The future is disgusting!

• Mayor C. Randall Poopenmayer : Professor Wernstrom, can you save my city?

  Professor Ogden Wernstrom : Of course, but it'll cost you. First, I'll need tenure.

  Mayor C. Randall Poopenmayer : Done.

  Professor Ogden Wernstrom : And a big research grant.

  Mayor C. Randall Poopenmayer : You got it.

  Professor Ogden Wernstrom : Also, access to a lab, and five graduate students, at least three of them Chinese.

  Mayor C. Randall Poopenmayer : All right, done. What's your plan?

  Professor Ogden Wernstrom : What plan? I'm set for life. Au revoir, suckers!

  Leela : That rat! Do something!

  Mayor C. Randall Poopenmayer : I wish I could, but he's got tenure.

• Leela : Should we really be celebrating? I mean, what if the second ball of garbage returns to Earth like the first one did?

  Fry : Who cares? That won't be for hundreds of years.

  Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Exactly. It's none of our concern.

  Fry : That's the twentieth century spirit.

• [they have found an internet documentary about the garbage ball] 

  Fry : Wow. In my day, the internet was only used to download porn.

  Leela : Actually, that's still the case.

  Scientist #1 : Now that the garbage is gone, doctor, perhaps you could help me with my sexual inhibitions.

  Scientist #2 : With gusto.

  [documentary music] 

• Fry : Hey, you have no right to criticize the 20th century. We gave the world the light bulb, the steam boat and the cotton gin.

  Leela : Those things are all from the 19th century.

  Fry : Yeah, well, they probably just copied us.

• Leela : Fry, this stuff was garbage when it was new. Let's blow it up already.

  Fry : This junk isn't garbage! I can dig in any random pile and find something great.

  [He dives into a pile, comes up chocking from a six-pack ring around his neck; Leela cuts it with a knife] 

  Fry : All right, let's get to work.