- [Bender has joined the Church of Robotology]
- Professor Hubert Farnsworth: If only he had joined a mainstream religion, like Oprahism, or Voodoo.
- [while talking to the Beastie Boys]
- Fry: Back in the 20th century, I had all five of your albums.
- Adam Horovitz: That was a thousand years ago. Now we got seven.
- Fry: Cool. Can I borrow the new ones? And a couple of blank tapes?
- [suffering torment in Robot Hell]
- Bender: But I don't belong here. I don't like things that are scary and painful.
- Beelzebot, The Robot Devil: Sorry, Bender, you agreed to this when you joined our religion. If you sin, you go straight to Robot Hell - for all eternity.
- Bender: Ah, hell - I mean, heck.
- Beelzebot, The Robot Devil: No, it's all right. You can say that here.
- Leela: Bender, we don't mind your drinking, and your kleptomania, and your pornography ring.
- Dr. Zoidberg: In fact, that's why we love you.
- Beelzebot, The Robot Devil: [singing] Fencing diamonds, fixing cockfights / Publishing indecent magazines / You'll pay for every crime / Knee-deep in electric slime / You'll suffer 'till the end of time / Enduring tortures, most of which rhyme / Trapped forever here in Robot Hell!
- ["Robot Hell Song" finishes]
- Beelzebot, The Robot Devil: Of course, that's just for starters.
- ["Robot Hell Song" continues]
- Beelzebot, The Robot Devil: [sings] Gambling's wrong and so is cheating; / So is forging phony IOU's. / Let's let Lady Luck decide / What type of torture's justified. / I'm pit boss here on Level Two!
- [toasts Bender]
- Beelzebot, The Robot Devil: Oooh, deep-fried robot!
- Leela: All right, Beelzebot, what'll it take to get our friend back?
- Beelzebot, The Robot Devil: Sorry, but I hold all the cards here. There's nothing you can do. Now, if you'll just sign this fiddle contest waiver...
- Leela: Wait. What fiddle contest?
- Beelzebot, The Robot Devil: Urrggh. The Fairness In Hell Act of 2275 requires me to inform you that if you can best me in a fiddle contest, you win back Bender's soul. As well as a solid gold fiddle.
- Fry: Wouldn't a solid gold fiddle weigh hundreds of pounds and sound crummy?
- Beelzebot, The Robot Devil: Well, it's mostly for show.
- Hermes Conrad: Our electrical bill is climbing higher than a green snake up a sugar cane. Obviously someone here has been using a whole heap of juice. Probably you.
- [Points at Zoidberg]
- Bender: I can't believe someone sent an intergalactic spaceship to deliver a package to Atlantic City. What are we delivering, anyway?
- Fry: Uh... this.
- [Takes a half-used roll of mints out of his pocket]
- Bender: Where are we delivering it?
- Leela: Uh, here.
- [Puts roll into mailbox]
- Bender: Another job well done.
- Fry: And you made me feel like a jerk for trusting you. Just like when my friend Ricky swore he wasn't taking drugs, and then he sold me my mom's VCR, and then later I found out he was taking drugs.
- [on the fiddle contest]
- Leela: What happens if we lose?
- Beelzebot, The Robot Devil: You'll only win a smaller silver fiddle. Also, I guess I'll kill one of you. Uhh... him.
- [points at Fry]
- Reverend Preacherbot: Wretched sinner unit! The path to Robot Heaven lies here, in the Good Book 3.0.
- Bender: Hey. Do I preach at you when you're lying stoned in the gutter? No!
- Reverend Preacherbot: I see a lot of fancy robots here today, made of real shiny metal. But that don't impress the Robot Devil. No, sir!
- Robot: No, sir!
- Reverend Preacherbot: 'Cause if you're a sinner, he's gonna plug his infernal modem on the wall, belching smoke and flame, and he's gonna download you straight to Robot Hell!
- Robot: Straight to Hell!
- Bender: [singing] Just tell me why!
- Beelzebot, The Robot Devil: Check out this 55-page warrant.
- Bender: There must be robots worse than I.
- Beelzebot, The Robot Devil: We've checked it out, there really aren't.
- Bender: Then please let me explain: / My crimes were really boyish pranks.
- Beelzebot, The Robot Devil: You stole from boy scouts, nuns and banks!
- Bender: Ah, don't blame me, blame my upbringing!
- Beelzebot, The Robot Devil: Please stop sinning while I'm singing!
- Fry: [singing] I don't feel well.
- Leela: It's up to us to rescue him.
- Fry: Maybe he likes it here in Hell.
- Leela: It's us who tempted him to sin.
- Fry: Perhaps he's back at the motel.
- Leela: Come on, Fry, don't be scared. / I'm sure at least one of us will be spared. / So just sit back and enjoy the ride!
- Fry: My ass has blisters from the slide!
- Beelzebot, The Robot Devil: [singing] Selling bootleg tapes is wrong! / Musicians need that income to survive.
- Adam Horovitz, Mike Diamond, Adam 'MCA' Yauch: [Rapping] Hey, Bender, gonna make some noise / With your hard drive scratched by the Beastie Boys!
- [they make disc scratching on Bender]
- Adam Horovitz, Mike Diamond, Adam 'MCA' Yauch: That's whatcha, whatcha, whatcha get on Level Five!
- Beelzebot, The Robot Devil: We know all your sins, Bender! And for each one we've prepared an agonizing and ironic punishment!
- [turns his head]
- Beelzebot, The Robot Devil: Gentlemen...
- ["Robot Hell Song" begins playing]
- Bender: Ah, crap! Singing! Mind if I smoke?
- Beelzebot, The Robot Devil: [singing] Cigars are evil, you won't miss' em! / We'll find ways to simulate that smell! / What a sorry fella, / Rolled up and smoked like a donnetella, / Here on Level One of Robot Hell.
- [after Bender escapes Robot Hell, while carrying Fry and Leela]
- Bender: Don't worry guys, I'll never be too good or too evil again. From now on, I'll just be me.
- Leela: Uh, do you think you could be just little less evil than that?
- Bender: I don't know. Think you could survive a 700ft fall?
- Fry: [Fry chuckles] Good old Bender!
- [closing credits]