- Gracie Allen: Did you get the paint all off your hands, Blanche?
- Blanche Morton: Oh yes, thank you, honey. But Gracie, if you had the back gate painted, why didn't you hang up a wet paint sign?
- Gracie Allen: Oh, I did! I hung it on the tree. The gate looked so pretty now that it's freshly painted, I didn't want to spoil it with a sign.
- Gracie Allen: You know, that man at the store was so silly! When I told him I wanted to paint my garden gate, he asked me if I wanted white paint or cream.
- George Burns: And you said, "You don't put cream on gates, you put it on strawberries."
- Gracie Allen: How did you know, dear?
- George Burns: I think the way you do.
- Gracie Allen: Oh sure! You know, when two people are as close as we are, we only need one brain between us.
- George Burns: It's lucky we've got that.
- George Burns: [to audience] Now I know why Gracie took my breakfast away from me, thanks to my 21-inch private eye. Great invention. You know, with that little television set I'm the Mata Hari of Beverly Hills. Can you imagine what would happen if everybody had a television set like mine? We'd just sit around, and... no... come to think of it, that would be pretty boring. Every time you tuned in, you would see somebody else sitting in front of his television set watching you watching him.