- Gracie Allen: I think every boy should have a chance to finish college. He'll remember all those wonderful things he learned there long after he's forgotten them!
- George Burns: Gracie, can I have my lunch? I got a lot of work to do this afternoon.
- Gracie Allen: Lunch? Lunch! A boy's future is at stake and all you think of is lunch! Can't you get your mind out of your stomach?
- George Burns: If it was in there, I wouldn't be hungry.
- Gracie Allen: You know, sometimes, George Burns, I don't understand you at all!
- George Burns: Sometimes I can say the same thing.
- Gracie Allen: Well, if you can't even understand yourself, you're worse off than I thought!
- Ronnie Burns: [Brian's been in college for 9 years] I guess you've had every course at S.C.
- Brian McAfee: You name it, I've flunked it.
- Ronnie Burns: You're exaggerating.
- Brian McAfee: No, I'm just naturally stupid. I think it must be my height, I figure it takes too long for the blood to get up to my brain.
- Brian McAfee: Triggernometry! I never shoulda taken that course. It's all Greek to me.
- Ronnie Burns: Maybe you should've taken Greek.
- Brian McAfee: I took Greek onced. It was all triggernometry to me.