- Gracie Allen: [Ronnie needs a story for the school paper] I've got just the thing! It was a big surprise to the Vanderlips when it happened. Thier cat had six kittens!
- Ronnie Burns: No, mother, but I need a story that's exciting.
- Gracie Allen: The cat's name is Henry.
- George Burns: Well, Ronnie, if you don't use it, I'm sure Walter Winchell will grab it.
- Gracie Allen: Oh! If Winchell dares to grab Henry in his condition, he'll hear from me!
- George Burns: In our house it works this way: Gracie reads the home section, Ronnie the sports section, and I the entertainment section. Of course, once in a while I do read the front page to see how long we'll be here to enjoy those other three sections.
- Ronnie Burns: How long is your father gonna keep letting you go to college?
- Brian McAfee: Oh, he don't never want me to quit. I guess you might say it's a matter of family pride.
- Ronnie Burns: Family pride?
- Brian McAfee: Yeah. He says if'n I went home, I'd be known as the dumbest boy in Texas. Why, he'd rather have me stay here and be known as the dumbest boy in California because it is a smaller state.
- Ronnie Burns: You know, Mother, it's a strange thing that your schemes always seem to work out.
- Gracie Allen: Well, try it anyway. Maybe this one will.
- Blanche Morton: I'm sorry to bring our troubles over to your house, Gracie.
- Gracie Allen: Well, that's alright, Blanche. You know, it's a good idea for a husband and wife to do all their quarreling somewhere else, it keeps their own home nice and happy.
- Blanche Morton: Gracie, do you think it's right for us to keep putting these things over on our husbands?
- Gracie Allen: Well, always remember, Blanche, it's the battle between two different ways of life. Men and women.
- Blanche Morton: A battle of the sexes.
- Gracie Allen: Sex has nothing to do with it. We have to use tricks because who gets pushed around?
- Blanche Morton: Right! And who has to beg for money?
- Gracie Allen: Right! And who has to do all the work?
- Blanche Morton: Right! And who has to take all the orders?
- Gracie Allen: Right! So if we didn't use trickery, they'd have us doing these things!
- Blanche Morton: Ri...
- Harry Morton: George, my spouse has gone berserk!
- George Burns: Well, why don't you go with her? I understand you can get a family rate.