George Gobel: Self - Host

Quotes 

• George : Howard's got a good head on his shoulders... no neck, just a good solid head on his shoulders

• [George arrives home to find his wife tied to a chair] 

  George : Hi, honey. New dress? What's for dinner?

  [Angela mumbles into her gag] 

  George : Again?

• George : Do you mean to tell me our little Chief Cochise tied you up like this?

  Angela : No, dear - this is the way I always relax in the afternoon. I suppose you're surprised?

  George : I am, a little. I didn't know he could tie a half-hitch.

• Angela : George, you've got to do something about your son!

  George : My son? My son... when he's bad he's my son, when he's good he's your son!

  Angela : He's never good.

  George : He's my son.

• George : Maybe we could send him away to school. I heard about a new progressive military academy called John Dillinger Memorial. They tell me the headmaster is a former guard on Devil's Island and he speaks French.

• Angela : George, will you just tell me where you've been?

  George : Where I've been? You know, the way you talk, you're the only that does any work around here. You know where I've been? I'll tell you where I've been. I've been out all day long with this...

  [George holds up his guitar case] 

  George : ...and you know where I've been with this? I've been from producer's office to producer's office to producer's office to...

  [a set of golf clubs fall from George's guitar case] 

  George : ...producer's office - and you know, not one of them producers had time to play golf.

  Angela : Golf? Golf? Honestly, George, that's all you've got in your head - eighteen holes.

• [while listening to Angela, George idlely swings one of his golf clubs] 

  Angela : George, honey, why don't you take an interest in your son. Go on in and talk to him, have a man to man chat with the boy, huh. Go on!

  George : All right, I will, but I don't think this is the proper club.

• Peggy King : Gee, I just saw you on television and, oh, I think your voice is so... so...

  George Gobel : See, that's what everybody says - my voice is just so-so.

• Peggy King : Oh, I think your voice is...

  George Gobel : Alluring?

  Peggy King : Oh, alluring!

  George Gobel : And thrilling?

  Peggy King : And thrilling!

  George Gobel : And sexy?

  Peggy King : Oh, sexy! Gee, Georgie, you just put the words right into my mouth.

  George Gobel : Yeah, well, a fellow like me just can't afford to take any chances.