- Chief: [meeting on the moon] What took you so long? Do you know what time it is?
- Maxwell Smart: Yes, well, 99's mother called us just before we left Earth.
- Chief: Well, this is probably the last time we'll be able to have these secret meetings on the moon anyway. Now that the astronauts have landed successfully, there'll probably be a lot more of them coming.
- Maxwell Smart: Well, we really shouldn't complain, Chief, we've had it for four years.
- Agent 99: [Max is about to jump and climb over a wall] I'm gonna have a baby, Max.
- Maxwell Smart: A baby?
- [runs straight through the wall]
- Chief: Larrabee, has that sample come back from the Control lab yet?
- Larabee: It's on my desk, Chief.
- Chief: Bring it in.
- Larabee: I'll need somebody to help me, that desk is pretty heavy.
- Maxwell Smart: I'll help ya, Larrabee.
- Maxwell Smart: Wait a minute, Chief. If she's gonna go in and sing that note to break that glass, we got to get her into KAOS headquarters.
- Chief: That's already been taken care of, Max. Belasco, like all KAOS agents, is an opera lover.
- Maxwell Smart: Wait a minute, Chief. If my face is so well known, supposing I had it changed?
- Chief: Max, the recital is tomorrow night. You know how long plastic surgery takes.
- Maxwell Smart: Not if I go to Proctor.
- Chief: Who's Proctor?
- Maxwell Smart: Hector Proctor.
- Chief: Who's Hector Proctor?
- Maxwell Smart: A Doctor. Doctor Hector Proctor.